A Song Of Love vs Life
by BSwan.N
Summary: Bella, house maid to the Cullens, is invisible in their eyes; she's seen and heard when they need her. But after several inappropriate encounters with Edward, everything changes. Edward has a decision to make. Love or Life? His happiness or his parents? ON HIATUS/UNDETERMINED BREAK
1. Chapter 1

Full summary: Bella Swan, house maid to the Cullen's; Carlisle, Esme, Edward and Emmett. Bella is invisible in their eyes; she's seen and heard when they need her. But after several inappropriate encounters with Edward, everything changes. Edward must then make an important decision in Italy at his friend's wedding; Love or Life? His happiness or his family's? His rich luxurious lifestyle, his adoring fiancée or Bella, the house maid?

Inspiration was a Taylor Swift song and a little help from my own head I think. Title inspiration my amazing friend **pastelroses**. She's helped me with a previous story and now she's a close friend. Don't know what I'd do without her.

**Review please!** My fifth story needs all your support!

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

I groaned as my alarm went off and rolled over to switch it off. Half past four. In the morning. The time I usually wake up. I pulled my bed covers off and swung my legs out of bed. Urgh. It was so early and yet I felt awake already. But then again, when you have a job like mine with employers like mine you couldn't expect any less.

Isabella, 'Bella' Swan, that's my name, I'm twenty six years old and I work as a house maid to my wonderful – not – employers, the Cullen's. The snotty rich and obnoxious Cullen's. Carlisle, the man of the house works as an investor in real estate and for a record label. His wife, Esme, in charge of local fundraisers, well not so much local as in all over the U.S. and parts of Italy – they have a villa in Verona – she is kind enough to invite me to the local ones, as long as I don't say I'm associated with them. And then there are their darling children, Emmett and Edward. Emmett works with his father's friend, Aro at a giant law firm in New York, obviously pleasing his father immensely. Whereas Edward is in Harvard Medical school, he's hardly home but due to his rich status he's managed to get a year off to spend time with his family. He arrives home in two weeks time which means I've been doing double shifts for her majesty, Esme.

I've been flat out as it is and now I have to cut down my sleeping time and socialising to a bare minimum. Angela Weber is the other maid in the house, but she only works three days a week because she lives so far away, whereas me, well I live in the attic of this mansion. My room or apartment was used as Mrs Cullen's art studio before they renovated the balcony and she set up her things there, so it was well decorated and had massive glass windows from floor to ceiling with a black wooden edge around it. The bathroom was a decent size and the space I was using of this one roomed apartment was adequate, so I wasn't complaining. I separated all my furniture and living areas by small bookshelves and screens, it was easier than having an open planned apartment.

I quickly showered and dressed in my plain black skirt, white blouse and slightly heeled shoes before grabbing my bag and heading out onto the balcony and down the stairs around the outside of the house to the third floor of the five storey house. Angela was dusting the shelves in the lounge when I entered via the balcony doors; she smiled politely before continuing with her work.

I set about my work and only started making breakfast when I heard someone stir on the floor above. I quickly began mixing the pancake mix I had set on the side an hour ago. I quickly had the stove fired up and the pan hot enough to start making breakfast just as Emmett came into the kitchen rubbing his stomach and smiling brightly at me.

He came back two days ago so that he could be here when his brother arrives and also because he had some news to tell his parents. He and his long term girlfriend, daughter of Aro, Rosalie were getting married. Of course his parents were over the moon and ordered champagne for all the staff, which was awfully nice of them. We all had a party of our own in the garage celebrating Anastasia's fifty-first birthday. The Cullen's were oblivious.

"What's for breakfast?" He asked his stomach growling in unison.

I laughed and replied, "Pancakes, if that's okay with you sir?"

He smiled and laughed, "It still feels weird to be called sir. But please don't stop."

I smiled at his gentle yet vain humour and said, "Do you know when Mr and Mrs Cullen will be up sir?"

He stared at the pan with the pancakes and then after collecting himself replied, "They shouldn't be too long. Mom doesn't like to sleep in late, she says it messes with her 'internal clock'," He air quoted which made me snort, "Whatever that means."

As if she had heard us, Mrs Cullen walked into the kitchen, already dressed with her hair pinned up in waves, not a hair out of place. She smiled sweetly at her son, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Morning darling," She greeted before giving his attire a dirty look, I snorted at her face, earning a glare from her, "Emmett dear, how many times have I told, when you come down for breakfast, please get dressed for the day first."

Emmett rolled his eyes at her and sighed, "Mom, I've told you before, I don't get dressed until my stomach is satisfied. And it wasn't when I woke up so I came down to have some pancakes, which are taking forever." He pouted at me, a smirk on his face and a playful glint in his eyes.

"I'm sorry sir. They're nearly done now." I said serving a few pancakes to Mrs Cullen first, knowing that it wouldn't be enough for Emmett. Mrs Cullen thanked me sourly and walked off into the dining room.

Emmett chuckled, "Sorry about her, she never was a morning person, even when we were younger."

I laughed as well and he started telling me about Rosalie and how he couldn't wait for me to meet her. I doubted she would be very polite considering I was her fiancé's parents house maid but I was willing to give her the benefit of doubt. Emmett stayed with me in the kitchen and ate nearly two dozen pancakes while chatting about New York and how much I would love it. Mr Cullen came down not long after his wife, just like Emmett in his pyjamas even though his hair was combed back.

Mr Cullen was very attractive, a perfectly shaped face, dazzling green eyes, shimmering gold hair and looked about fifteen years younger than he was. He had always been the most polite out of him and his wife towards me. She had been polite at first but she didn't like the friendship Emmett seemed to say we had, so she got nasty.

After Emmett had gone to get dressed I cleaned the kitchen up and then headed to clean the bedrooms. I was completely exhausted by the time it was time for lunch, so Angela bravely agreed to take over kitchen duty for the rest of the day. I thanked her and continued cleaning around the house, putting my all into everything I did. Soon I realised it was time for my break so I threw my apron into the closet in the kitchen and headed up the stairs to the second floor balcony and then made my way up the stairs to the attic. I checked my phone and noticed I had three missed calls from Jacob. I forgot to mention I'd been engaged to Jacob for nearly a year now. He was a mechanic and was looking into buying his own garage in Italy because he knew how much I wanted to live there. I was fluent in Italian and was saving up all my money to go on a three week break there with Jake.

I was totally in love with him, just as I had been three years ago when I met him outside a bar when my truck had broken down. He'd got my truck running again and I'd given him my number. We dated on and off for about a year when he said he loved me and wanted to make this serious, so he gave me a promise ring, to show that we only had eyes for each other. He was unbelievably sweet and even had mine inscribed. It read, 'Ionly have eyes for you, my sweet Bella' which he'd had done weeks before he'd given it to me. He had told me he was saving himself for me and I was doing the same. It seemed al the more sweeter that way.I smiled at my phone as I read the message he'd sent me last night before I went to bed,

_Thinking of you, goodnight Bella dolce xx_

I sighed and threw my phone back onto my bed before heading to the kitchen to make something to eat. I decided to have a ham sandwich which didn't take long but just as I had finished one half I heard Angela's frantic voice coming from outside and he heavy footsteps as she rushed up the stairs. I opened the sliding door and stepped out to see Angela run over to me, out of breath, her face flushed.

"What is it Ang?" I asked holding the top of her arms as she caught her breath.

"Mr –Mr – Mr Cullen . . . the other brother – he's – here. Mrs Cullen – wants – all staff – down immediately." She panted before turning on her heels and heading back down the stairs in a frenzy.

I cursed and started fixing my hair and my uniform before following Angela down the stairs in the same frenzy of panic. He wasn't supposed to be here yet! He wasn't supposed to be here for another two weeks! His room hadn't been made or gotten ready for his arrival yet and nothing had been prepared for is welcome home dinner which Mrs Cullen was going to prep us on next week.

I finally made it onto the balcony and I rushed inside and ran for the lounge only to run straight into something. I fell back and hit the floor hard, my head cracked against the wooden flooring and I cursed. I heard a loud booming laugh, Emmett, a snicker, Carlisle, and a tsk of disapproval, Esme. And then I heard a soft, velvet voice next to me.

"Are you alright? Miss? Open your eyes, please miss." The voice was frantic and worried and then when the snickering and laughing grew louder the voice turned angry.

"Stop laughing! She hit her head off the floor she could be concussed!"

My eyes fluttered open and I came face to face with a familiar yet unfamiliar pair of green eyes. They were framed with dark long eyelashes which made my heart beat wildly in my chest. His hair was a strange bronze colour, but it looked brown, his skin was pale and looked smooth. I wanted to stroke his cheek but then I seemed to collect myself and I blushed heavily at the embarrassment.

"Are you alright?" He asked again, his voice soft again.

I nodded and looked away from his gorgeous eyes. My heart still wouldn't behave itself so I thought 'oh what the hell!' and looked back up at him. He smiled slightly and offered me his hand, I took it and he helped me up carefully. My head started to throb as I stood upright and then I felt myself sway slightly before two hands were firmly around my waist.

"Easy there, I don't want you to hit your head again." He smiled at me and I think I might've fluttered my eyelashes without realising it but it seemed to have the effect I was hoping for and he stared deep into my eyes.

"I'm terribly sorry."I breathed, suddenly aware of how close we were.

"It's nothing, I just hope you're okay,"He replied in the same tone. He let me go and took a step back, scratching the back of his head nervously.

"It's nice to meet you anyway Mr Cullen."I said formally stepping over to the line of staff that were all staring wide eyed at me. I cursed mentally and then composed myself.

"Right!" Mrs Cullen said, clearing her throat, "Edward, darling I wanted you to meet the staff so you knew who to call for if you ever needed something, but I'm going to have to keep it short now so. . . one at a time, say your name and what your position is."

"Maria, and I'm in charge of laundry." The tall red haired girl said she was quite polite, most of the time.

"Anastasia, and I'm in charge of silverware." She was arched over a little. Old age I guess.

"Felicity, and I'm in charge of laundry also." Her short blonde was in a pony tail, which was unusual, she usually had it down.

"Angela, and I'm in charge of any cleaning on the second floor." I smiled at my good friend and she smiled back.

"Lorenzo, and I'm in charge of the gardening."He was a legal immigrant from Italy, he was helping me keep my Italian up to scratch.

"Victor, and I'm in charge of keeping all the vehicles in working order." Moved here from New York last year, why? I don't think I'll ever know that answer.

And then it was my turn.

"Bella, and I'm the house maid and cook."

Mrs Cullen scowled at me, "Its Isabella, not Bella. We've been through this."

I hung my head,"Sorry Miss."

We were all dismissed and I heard Mrs Cullen start asking Edward questions about how school was. I took a sneak peak back and saw him looking at me as well. I smiled slightly and headed to the kitchen. I had grabbed my apron and started on dinner. Mrs Cullen had sent Emmett in to tell me that she wanted the Lamb joint for dinner seeing as it was a special occasion. Emmett had apologised for his mother and then walked back out to his family.

Well , I never said this family was boring did I?

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><p>Thats it for chapter one! Hope you enjoyed it Chapter two will be up on sunday or monday. Its laready finished but I want to makeyou wait because I'm evil! :)<p>

**REVIEW!**

Thanks again to **pastelroses** who might not remember the conversation we hadabout this story but she encouraged me to write this further because she thought it was really good so go check out her awesome stories! She's an amazing writer!

~Love Nicole xx


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I placed Edward's plate in front of him and looked at his face, he smiled at me and blinked several times before I stood upright and, addressing the whole family said,

"I hope you like your dinner. Godetevi!" I said and exited the room, leaning against the wall by the door trying to calm myself.

"She speaks Italian?" I heard Edward ask.

"Yes she does." I heard Mrs Cullen reply dismissively.

"You never told me darling." Mr Cullen said, astounded.

"You didn't tell me either mom." Emmett joined.

"I'm sure I mentioned it when she applied for the job. It was on her application." Mrs Cullen said her voice the same dismissive tone.

"No, you didn't darling. I would've remembered that."

"Why do you all suddenly care if she speaks bloody Italian or not! It's not as if she's important in this household!" Mrs Cullen screamed and I heard cutlery clutter to the floor I grabbed the bottle of wine which was on the kitchen counter and a towel before walking back into the dining room to a very red faced Mrs Cullen.

"Would anybody like more wine?" I asked in a small voice, probably from the fright that Mrs Cullen's expression was giving me.

Everybody but Esme said yes and I made my way round with the bottle topping up their glasses, saving Edward for last. I smiled slightly at him, the fear still evident in my face. As I bent down to pour the wine I felt his hand touch the back of my thigh. I jumped a little and Emmett gave me a quizzical look before continuing to devour his meal. Edward's hand didn't move, instead it moved further up and touched my backside. I jumped again and Emmett cleared his throat looking at Edward this time, asking him some silent question. Edward chuckled a little and I swear I saw him wink at Emmett before Emmett bent over in laughter and Carlisle looked at him like he had lost his mind.

I moved away from him and placed the bottle on the table next to him. I didn't want to come back in here. I smiled at everybody and then left the room, giving Edward a quick glance. He was smirking at me. And here I thought he was a decent man, a gentleman, but he certainly convinced me wrong by feeling me up in front of his parents and brother.

I stood in the dark kitchen gripping the counter for support as I relived what had just happened. I took deep breaths but it didn't help, my heart rate was still way too fast. I closed my eyes and thought of Jake. That helped. I could see his smiling face and the way he looked when he said he loved me. His sweet smile, his dark eyes. Edward's crooked smile, his dazzling green eyes. Whoa! What the hell just happened?

I blinked furiously and gripped the counter even more when my brain went wild and I relived every moment of the last five minutes. The way his hand felt on my leg . . . Okay I have to stop this. I took another deep breath and started thinking about the lyrics for The Sound of Music. It cleared my head. I smiled to myself , flattened and adjusted my skirt and blouse and then went to turn the light on. As I turned for the switch I caught the sight of a figure in the doorway. Oh crap, you have got to be kidding me, right?

Edward Cullen stood there, that evil smirk on his face, his arms folded across his chest as he casually leaned against the wall by the light switch. Well there goes my idea of putting the lights on. I'm not going anywhere near him. He seemed to know what I was thinking and cleared his throat; it was a sexy kind of sound. There I go again. I need to control myself.

"What are you doing in the dark all by yourself?" He asked, his voice sounding light with humour yet sexy as hell.

"I was about to turn the light on but you walked in sir. Could you flick the switch for me please?" I asked, it was my only attempt to not be accused of being with Mrs Cullen's son in the kitchen, in the dark. It wasn't a good image.

He smiled and then said, "Why don't you?"

I narrowed my eyes which I doubted he could see in the dark but then said lightly, "Well, because you're standing right next to the switch. So it would be easier for me if you turned it on sir."

"Well, I'm sorry to say but I have no intention of putting the light on for you. You're the maid, not me." His voice was patronising and I suddenly felt myself swell with anger. I hated him already. Him and his stupid gorgeous eyes and hair and god damn sexy voice.

I growled slightly and stormed across the room to him and the light switch. I stood in front of him, glaring at him the whole time; I switched the flick without moving my eyes from him and then turned to walk away. My eyes trying to adjust in the sudden change in light. Suddenly I was being pulled backwards and the lights went off again.

I heard a door open and I was pushed inside the pantry. I cursed loudly as I stubbed my toe on the door frame and I felt a hand over my mouth. I gasped when I saw two green eyes staring back at me in the dark. I then realised whose hand it was over my mouth and whose hand it was that was slowly moving up and down my back, tickling me.

"Shh," He hushed me, running his hand down my back again, making me shiver, "You don't want anyone to find us do you?"

I shook my head and he moved his hand from my mouth to my hip where he trailed his hand up to the edge of my blouse where he played with the rim. I swatted his hand away and scowled at him in the dark.

"What do you think you're doing?" I hissed at him through the dark.

He chuckled darkly before wrapping his arm all the way around my waist, pulling me inappropriately close to his body. I pushed against his chest but he held me there securely. God he was strong. My mind wandered and I wondered what he looked like without a shirt. Bad Bella! Very bad Bella! I struggled again but he pushed me back and against the wall. I gasped as I felt his body flush against

mine.

"You're going to get me in serious trouble! What do you think you're doing?" I scowled at him, I could feel my heart beating erratically around in my chest and my breaths were turning into pants. Great. Just bloody great.

"Well, you're utterly gorgeous, so . . . I thought I could have some fun." He smirked flirtatiously at me, his green eyes smouldering. His one hand trailed down my side as he said, "Oh and for the whole 'getting you into trouble' thing. Well I don't care."

And with that he grabbed my leg and pulled it around his hip. I gasped loudly and he pushed me further against the wall, making my head cloudy. I tried with all my will to clear it but Edward's face was too close to even clear it for a minute. I managed to choke out.

"My job."

He began kissing my neck and I arched into him unwillingly, "Oh well."

"I have a fiancé!" I gasped as he grazed my earlobe with his teeth.

He pulled back at that and smirked, "That right there has made this even more fun. Not only is this a dangerous game but it's also a forbidden game now. I like it." I gritted my teeth to stop from moaning as his hand which wasn't holding my leg up, slid down to my other leg and pulled that up as well. I had to wrap my arms around his neck to stop myself from falling even though I'm sure by how much I was pressed up against the wall I would've been safe. My skirt was very restricting and it had ridden up significantly due to the new position, it was sure to be creased. Damn it.

He moaned as I unwillingly ran my fingers through his hair. It was so soft and shiny, even in the dark. I was trying to stop myself from giving into him, but all this time I'd felt an electric pulse whenever he'd touch me. And an undeniable attraction to him. As he said, this was now a very dangerous and forbidden game and yet I wasn't stopping it.

He kissed up my neck until he reached the corner of my mouth. He stopped and pulled away a little to look into my eyes. His green eyes were ablaze and smouldering undeniably as he leaned in again. I didn't want to stop him now. I wanted to know what it would feel like, to have his lips on mine. Maybe it was the little bit of wine I had before serving dinner talking, and the little bit I had whilst making it and the little bit I had while they were eating. Okay fine I had three glasses without anyone noticing.

The alcohol was definitely taking over as I felt his cool sweet breath over my face. His lips were incredibly close and yet, not close enough. I closed my eyes and waited.

"Edward!"

Oh crap. Mrs Cullen, no sorry, Esme.

"Edward! Darling! Where are you?" She called.

In those few seconds in which we had heard her call he had dropped both of my legs and stepped as far away from me in the pantry as possible. He's such a gentleman. Not. He put his finger over his mouth, telling me to be quiet and I obliged. I didn't want to get caught just as much as he didn't. Well that's what he was telling me now.

We listened carefully until we heard her walk back into the dining room. I sighed in relief.

Edward walked back over to me, wrapped his arms around my waist, kissed down my neck before opening the door and stepping out. Shutting the door quickly behind him.

What the hell was that? I tried to calm myself down but my heart wouldn't behave, my breathing was still nowhere near normal, still a pant and my clothes were thoroughly creased. I tried to straighten them out but it was hard in the dark so I gave up and slowly opened the door, peering out. There was nobody insight, the kitchen light was on but I couldn't even hear voices from the dining room. I sighed in relief and tiptoed out, closing the door securely behind me. I leaned against it and tried to calm my heart again. What game was he playing? He playing with my job and my fiancé, what was his problem?

I tiptoed out of the room and flicked the light off running up stairs to see where Angela was. I needed to see her right now. I cursed all the way up the stairs about 'Mr Cullen's' gentlemanly behaviour. The cheek of him, waltzing in here like he owns the place, acting all charming and sweet and then at the first chance he gets start groping the maids! Angela would have a fit when I told her and would probably advise me to speak to Mrs Cullen, not that she would listen to me. She would probably accuse me of flirting with her 'precious and innocent' son.

I found Angela polishing the parquet on the second floor. She looked exhausted and drained and my heart went to her. Considering I lived here I had an easier job than the rest who worked for the Cullen's. I approached her carefully and made sure my footsteps were heard as not to frighten her. She looked up as I got closer and smiled slightly at me as I knelt down next to her in the patch of parquet she had yet to polish.

"How was dinner?" She asked as I grabbed the extra cloth and began helping her.

"It was alright. Mrs Cullen was as she always is, snobby and proud." I sniggered but told myself to get onto the task at hand, telling her about the improper Mr E Cullen.

She sighed and put her cloth down, "What comment did she have to say this time?"

"Well I wished for them to enjoy their meal in Italian and Edward Cullen inquired about my talents to speak Italian. Then Mr Cullen asked why Mrs Cullen had never said that I could speak Italian and she went in a mood shouting about why it was so important that they knew I spoke Italian. So just a normal dinner I suppose." I smiled slightly at her and she snickered.

"A_ very_ normal dinner."

I sat down properly on the floor, "Ange, I have to tell you something."

She had just picked up her cloth again but she sighed and put it down looking at me concerned, "What have you done now? Is it Jake? Did you have a fight? Is it Mrs Cullen? If it is you know I'll stand up for you, right?"

I grabbed her hands, "No it's not Jake, and no it's nothing to with Mrs Cullen although I'd lose my job if it ever came out. But it's bad and I don't know what to do."

She gasped and asked, "You're not pregnant? Because you said you and Jake were going to wait! I mean you're not married yet! Oh my god! You can't have a baby and move to Italy and work, I mean you could try but –"

"I'm not _pregnant_!" I told her exasperated.

She looked confused, "Well what is it?"

I lowered my voice and shuffled closer to her, "You have to promise not to tell a soul Ange, do you promise?"

She looked scared now but nodded anyway.

I took a deep breath and started, "I was in the kitchen after dinner and it was really dark so I went for the light switch but Edward Cullen was standing in my way. I asked him politely if he would turn the light on for me but he said no and that he wasn't the maid. I flicked the light on and went to walk away when he grabbed me and pushed me into the pantry, turning the lights off again." Angela's face was full of shock and concern at that sentence so I quickly continued before she could say anything, "I asked him what the hell he was doing and next thing I know he's got his arm around my waist and he's pushing me up against the wall. He started trailing his hands down my sides and saying that he thought because I was, and I quote this 'utterly gorgeous', that he could have a little bit of fun with me." Angela gasped and covered her mouth.

"He didn't force himself onto you in _that_ way? Did he?" She asked her face full of shock and she looked a little stricken as well.

I shook my head, "I don't know if he was planning to but I started telling him that I could lose my job and that I had a fiancé all the while trying to get him off of me. But Ange I don't know what came over me because he pulled my leg up to his hip and started kissing down my neck and I totally gave in!"I hung my head and knew she would be disappointed in me; I daren't look up so I just continued with the story,

"He pulled my other leg up and I had to put my arms around his neck to stop myself from falling and then I knotted my fingers in his hair and then he started kissing his way up to my mouth and was going to kiss me when Mrs Cullen started calling for him and he put me down." I gasped for breath, not realising I had been rushing out with my words this entire time.

"He put as much distance between us then as possible and after we'd heard her leave he kissed down my neck one more time and then left without another word." I still couldn't bring myself to look at Angela; I knew she was going to give me hell for not stopping what had happened.

"I –" She started, "I don't know what to say,"

"I know I'm a horrible person for giving into him but I couldn't help it. He has some kind of power over me with his green eyes and perfect face and charming manners and that voice." I groaned, "I don't deserve someone as good as Jacob after what I've done."

She grabbed my hands and made me look up at her, "Bella Swan, you have done nothing wrong. If I was in that position or any other girl, no matter if I was engaged, married or in a relationship I don't think anybody would have resisted him. He's too damn charming for his own good."

I nodded.

"Now I am disappointed that you gave in a little too much but I know you probably feel wretched about the whole thing and feel like such a horrible person, but let me remind you that you are not. You are one of the nicest, good and loyal people I have ever met and I know that it was that damn man's fault for what happened." She growled a little at the end, "I mean honestly what honest and decent man handles a woman in such a way? Grabbing her and pulling her into a closet and forcing him on her. I mean honestly!"

I smirked a little at her and then felt the need to confess something,

"Ange, the worst part is, I wanted him to kiss me, and I liked the way his lips felt on me and the way he held me. I didn't want him to let me go. I was so wrapped up in this little world where it was me and him that I forgot everything I had taught myself about never letting man take advantage of you and not giving in. And now I don't know what to do about Jake!" I told her a tear falling down my cheek, one of shame.

She rubbed my shoulders and then a throat cleared behind us and Angela moved away, turning to look behind her. I did the same and saw the man himself, Mr Edward Cullen standing at the top of stair, his expression unreadable. He nodded once towards us then made his way up the other set of stairs to his room.

Angela moved closer to me again and said quietly, "Don't jeopardise what you have with Jake because of one little encounter. He doesn't need to know. Mr Cullen Junior will be gone soon and you'll be moving to Italy to get married and settle down. Don't ruin what happiness you have."

I nodded and smiled slightly at her, "You're right. I won't tell him. What he doesn't know won't hurt him."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Three days later.**

I finished cleaning up in the kitchen after lunch and then silently made my way through the house searching for the Cullens. Edward hadn't cornered me again and I was grateful for that. I had managed to ignore him for three days straight and had even visited Jacob to tell him I loved him and that I missed him. I didn't tell him about the incident with Edward but we had had a long conversation about the future and he begged me to quit my job at the Cullen's. He had enough money saved to take us to Italy. I told him we needed a good amount of money to get us set up over there too and that would take a few more months of hard work and saving to achieve that. He hadn't argued but had kissed me lovingly, telling me he was so lucky to have me. I told him I'd visit soon but with my heavy workload I would doubt seeing him again for another week. He shook his head and called Esme the demon's mistress and I had laughed, kissing him on the forehead and leaving him to come back here, to work. Angela had been keeping an eye out on Edward making sure he wasn't following me or harassing any of the other members of staff. Apparently he wasn't following me and hadn't forced himself on any other the other female staff members, it was just me he had tried that on. I was headed towards the living room when I heard voices from the bar. Yes I _know_, they have a bar. I walked swiftly to the door and entered without thinking to knock.

Luckily they were all in deep conversation. Mrs and Mrs Cullen were laughing by the fireplace, Mr Cullen smiling sweetly at his wife and Edward and Emmett were deep in conversation at the bar. I walked in the room a little more and Edward, who was facing towards the door looked up at me. He smiled and I felt my cheeks warm. Great I thought. I ran my hands through my hair and gave him a small smile, but my eyes lingered on him and he smirked. Emmett turned as he took in Edward's now guilty expression and I peered in the mirror on the wall to see my reflection for the first time.

My face was flushed and my cheeks a bright pink. My eyes were brighter than usual. My hair was a little haywire from running my hands through it and I cringed when I saw Emmett looking at me quizzically. Oh great, and now Emmett had seen me.

Edward leaned towards Emmett and started whispering in his ear. Emmett's gaze had never left me and his eyes grew wider as Edward whispered. I had a feeling Edward had just told Emmett about the way he had attacked me in the kitchen and pantry. Emmett started to chuckle quietly as Edward pulled back to look at me. I scowled at him, which took some doing, I couldn't find it in me to be overly mean to him. I was still recovering from something which happened three days ago!

I headed over to the bar and stood behind the counter smiling at them I said,

"Would you like another drink gentlemen?"

Emmett hadn't moved his eyes off me and his playful eyes had slowly evolved into shocked ones. I guess he was just coming to deal with what Edward had told him. Emmett nodded slowly and I started to fill up his glass of whiskey. He grabbed it as soon as I was done and went and sat by the window, pulling out his phone as he did.

Edward put his glass down in front of me and half smiled, his eyes still quite sad and guilty.

"I'll have another one please," He answered softly, "Bella."

My heart stuttered as I heard him say my name, so softly, so gently. Nobody had said my name in such a way that my head was spinning and my heart was aching. Not even Jacob. This reaction to him was wrong. Everything that my body was doing in response to him was wrong. He shouldn't have such an effect on me.

I smiled back, softly as well and poured him another gin and tonic. It was an odd drink for him. I would've thought he would drink more of a Jack Daniels or Rum even. Not a gin and tonic. I didn't realise I was asking him that same question until it was already done.

"Why a gin and tonic? I would've thought your personal drink would be different."

He smiled a me, in shock and relief. Shock that I was talking to him but relief that I was.

"My grandma Elizabeth used to drink it. She used to let me have a sip at parties when I was younger and then give me small glasses as I got older. Then she passed away about nine, maybe ten years ago and I never changed. She was important to me, she was my favourite relative that wasn't in my immediate family."

I could see the sadness in his eyes as he talked about her. I could see how much she had meant to him, and what impact she made on his life. I reached out slowly, making sure the rest of the family weren't watching, and placed my hand on his on the table. He looked up immediately and I smiled sympathetically at him.

"I know how it feels to lose a loved one." I whispered.

He looked into my eyes, his curious, "Who?"

"My father," I replied, "My mom has just been diagnosed with cancer as well, so I'm preparing myself for the worst again. So you're not alone."

My father had died four years ago while I was working at the house. He had been driving to work when he had a heart attack and lost control of the car. He swerved into the other lane and had a head on collision with a truck carrying twenty tonnes of metal to the nearby warehouse. He hadn't stood a chance. He died on impact. The EMT's and many other doctors had said that with the heart attack it would've been a quick death and he wouldn't have felt a thing.

I suppose that was reassuring.

Edward's eyes were extremely sad now and his hand moved to cover mine. I was relieving the whole thing in my head and I could feel the tears falling down my cheeks.

"Bella?" Edward whispered, "Please, don't cry."

I took a deep breath but that made it worse and more tears fell down my cheeks. I pulled my hand away and rushed out of the room. The Cullen's eyes on me the whole time.

I headed to the balcony and ran outside to the edge of the railings. I hadn't realised it was raining until then and now I was getting soaked. My blouse was becoming see through and the hair which had fallen from my bun was clinging to my face. I stared out into the surrounding forest and cried. I sobbed my heart out.

I missed him so much. I wanted my father back. I wanted him here with me, hugging me and telling me he loved me and that he was always there for me. I wanted him to be the one to walk me down the aisle when I married Jacob, not Ben, Angela's partner. He was the closest I had to it though. I was just hoping my mother would last long enough to see her daughter get married.

"Bella?"

I spun around to the sound of his voice and took in his heartbroken expression. He was hurting, I could tell. All because of me. I turned back around but then headed for the stairs which led to my haven. I got up the first flight before Edward was tugging on my hand, pulling me back down the steps.

"Leave me alone." I cried in the rain quietly.

"Bella, you're upset. Come inside, you're going to catch a cold." He urged me.

"No!" I shouted.

He pulled my arm harder, rougher and I kicked his leg, causing him to let go instantly. I didn't want any help, comfort or anything. I did want comfort though, but I wanted to be comforted by my father, the only person who couldn't comfort me. I wanted to be by myself then, if I couldn't have my father then I'd have his memory. That would be comfort enough. I ran up the stairs and made my way to the roof, sprinting for my door. I could hear him calling behind me.

Just as I reached for the door handle his hand grabbed mine, spinning me around to face him. I struggled in his grasp and cried as I did. I looked at his face, his hair was wet and his face concerned and pained as he stared into my eyes. It was a completely different experience to see him so lost when the last time I had encountered him he was cocky and proud and so full of himself.

"Please," He gasped, "Talk to me."

I don't know why but I nodded and let him open the door to my small apartment. He was a completely different person now and I felt like I could trust him. I was relaxed and at ease and acting as if nothing had ever happened between us before. I think I had a multiple personality disorder, or at least I was sure he did. I was lucky I had remembered to tidy this morning or I would be rushing around like a maniac trying to dispose of rubbish and dirty clothes. I gestured to my bed to sit down on, seeing as my entire book collection had decided to take control of the couch. He walked across my apartment and sat down on the edge of my bed. I sniffed a little, due to the rain and the sudden surge of emotions running through me and then joined him on the bed.

He smiled slightly at me and sighed sadly, "Talk to me about your father, and your mother. I know you don't want to but if upsets you this much I need to know why."

"Why do you need to know why?" I snapped, "You don't know me and you tried to have sex with me in the pantry, so why do you act like you care when we both know you don't?"

He hung his head and then looked back up, "I tried to seduce you because you looked just as lost and lonely as me and I thought you could make me feel better about myself. And well, that's why I care, because I feel just as alone and lost as you do."

"What makes you think I feel alone? Or lost even?" I snapped again.

"You say you have a fiancé but there's no evidence on your finger or around your neck or even in this apartment. Not a picture or anything. So there, you're alone and lost. You don't know what to do but force yourself into doing what you think is right. You haven't followed your heart in a while I'm guessing and all because of your fathers death" He assumed.

"I have too followed my heart!" I said sounding like a little girl in preschool, "I fell in love with Jacob and now I'm marrying him, how do you call that not following your heart?"

"Were you friends with this Jacob guy at first?" He asked.

I shook my head, " He fixed my truck when it broke down and we exchanged numbers, we dated on and off and then he said he wanted to have a serious relationship with me and that he loved me. What's your point?"

"I bet when he said he wanted a serious relationship you had to think about it, didn't you?" He inquired.

"Of course, you have to think about things like that. It's a bit decision." I answered a little pissed off.

"Not if you love that person. If you truly loved that person and wanted a serious relationship you wouldn't have to think about it, you'd just know." He concluded.

I huffed and crossed my arms getting up from the bed and pacing the short space between my bed and the bookshelves.

"You… urgh! You infuriate me, you waltz home after years and then think you can attempt to seduce me and then judge me! Who do you think you are?" I shouted.

Next thing I knew Edward's lips were on mine and his arms were securely around my waist holding me flush against his. I could feel every part of his body against mine and it felt good. As did his lips as they caressed mine so softly and yet so passionately. My head was spinning and then his lips left mine and started attacking my neck. My hands tangled in his hair as his lips continued down my neck and I moaned a little bit. His kisses became fiercer when he heard me and his hands reached for my chest and I moaned louder, pressing my body against his.

Suddenly we landed on my bed, me on top of him, his hands still running down my chest, his lips still attached to my neck and then he rolled us so he was on top of me. He pulled away and pulled his shirt off ripping some buttons in the process, I copied him and pulled mine off too before attaching my lips to his and pulling him down closer to me.

He continued to kiss me, his one hand sliding down my side before hooking it under my knee and pulling it up around his hip. He did the same with my other leg . I moaned and kissed him passionately.

My door flew open and through the gaps in the bookshelf I could see Angela walking swiftly into the room, rounding the bookshelves and stopping as she passed my bed. Her eyes bugged out of her sockets and she struggled for words.

"I'm . . . I'll erm . . . Mrs Cullen is looking for both of you." She stuttered before fleeing the room.

I pushed Edward off of me and groaned at my stupidity and useless restraint. I grabbed my shirt and slid it on, straightening it and smoothing my skirt down again.

"Well . . . " Edward said trailing off, sitting on the edge of the bed.

I threw his ruined shirt at him roughly and he chuckled, "What was that for?"

I spun around and glared at him, "'What was that for?'" I quoted "'What was that for?'" I screamed at him, "You took advantage of me! I was upset and you completely used that to your advantage! How dare you!"

He looked amused at my rant so I started hitting him over and over again, on his chest his arms anywhere possible. He just stood up and let me hit him more. I didn't realise I was crying until a sob erupted from my chest and he pulled me into his arms.

"No!" I shouted shoving away from him, "You're going to ruin everything! I have a fiancé who loves me, a job that pays well and my whole future ahead of me! I will not let you ruin everything, I won't!" I started hitting him again and this time he tried to stop me, saying my name over and over again.

"Please, Ow! Bella, stop it! You're–you're behaving, ow! Like . . . a–a child!" He growled trying to restrict my arms as I helplessly lashed out on him.

"I'm," Hit. "Not," Hit. "The," Stamp. "One," Hit. "Playing" Hit. "Games!" Slap.

He stumbled back onto my bed as soon as my hand had swiped across his face. He gasped and stared wide-eyed at me and I looked down at my stinging hand, trying to remember why I did that because as soon as I'd slapped him I wanted to comfort him.

"I'm so sorr –"

"Don't apologise." He cut me off.

"I shouldn't have done that." I said.

He shrugged, "I deserved it."

I shook my head and then said, "Well . . ."

He chuckled and slid his button less shirt on, groaning when he realised he had no buttons. I smirked a little and felt the blush creep up onto my cheeks.

He stood in front of me and tilted my head up to his, "I'm sorry, for everything, I -" He paused, "I don't have an excuse, it was just my plain old stupid self. I'm sorry."

"It's not all your fault," He gave me a look, "Okay it is, but I could have stopped it so were both in the wrong."

I started to amend my hair when he kissed me again and wrapped his arms around me. My hands left my own hair and tangled themselves into his. I sighed and he pulled away, "Last time, I promise."

I smirked, "It better be."

He smiled and then left my room, holding his shirt together. I fixed my hair and then grabbed my black cardigan to cover my shirt; it was still damp so I thought it might help. With that I headed downstairs to see her Majesty and try to stop Angela from saying anything to Jacob. This should be fun.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 is here! I know it's taken a while but I've got exams at the moment and a French speaking exam I'm supposed to be practising for, for tomorrow so you guys are lucky I had already written most of this at an earlier stage. **

**Thanks to all who reviewed it means a lot to me!**

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><p>Chapter 4<p>

Angela had avoided me completely for the next few days and I could never catch her quick enough to try to explain. I hadn't called Jacob and I knew that as long as Angela kept her mouth shut about the last encounter he wouldn't need to know. Every time I tried to talk to her she'd sprint off in the opposite direction or towards others in the house so it was impossible for me to try to speak to her.

I was talking to Emmett downstairs in the hallway when Edward turned up and joined the conversation. I was awkward to say the least. Emmett was telling me more about Rosalie who was visiting tomorrow with her brother and his wife. Edward started talking about Rosalie's brother, Jasper and how he'd be glad to have someone in the house who wouldn't play dirty when playing on the x box. Emmett made some comment about how it was Edward was the dirty player before heading off to answer a phone call. Just then Angela walked down the stairs and after taking a glance of me and Edward sprinted back up the stairs. I took the opportunity in front of me and raced after her, not saying a word to Edward in the process.

I sprinted up the stairs and into the large area on the second floor, just to see Angela peek her head around the corner by the lounge before catching my eye and looking panicked, disappeared again. I raced through the space between us and rounded the corner just in time to grab her arm as she tried to hide around the corner, her phone in her hand.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked in a hissed whisper as I saw Jacob's number up on the screen, her finger over the call button.

She pulled her arm out of my grasp and replied, "He deserves to know! I thought it was a one off, I thought it was just him messing around. You made me look like a fool, you are as much to blame as he is now!" She shook her head at me, "I cant believe you'd do this to Jacob. He's doing everything for you, he would do anything for you and you're messing around with some guy on the side. He's not even some guy! He's your bosses son!"

I grabbed her wrists gently, "Please, Ange, don't tell him, please. I made a mistake, it meant nothing and it will never happen again, I promise. He means nothing to me, it was physical attraction, nothing else, I shouldn't have given in. Just please don't tell Jacob, let me tell him, let me, please."

She bit her bottom lip and then nodded, closing her phone.

"Thank you," I said and sighed in relief.

She pursed her lips and turned to leave, "I didn't do it for your benefit, he deserves to know through you, not me. I'm doing this for Jacob."

I nodded in understanding and watched as she walked away into the next room. I leant back against the wall and groaned. I knew that after this Jacob wouldn't be able to forgive me, that he wouldn't want to be with me anymore, he'd call the engagement off and then my mother would never see me marry. I needed a way to try to fix this, I needed to try to explain to Jacob that it meant nothing and that it was a mistake. It's not as if I'd slept with him, that would have been a hundred times worse.

I stood up straight and headed in the opposite direction to Angela and back towards the stairs, just as I rounded the corner to the doorway, I came across Edward. He was standing next to the wall nearest me and I knew if he'd been there long enough he would have heard everything. I tried to ignore him but I needed to ask, I needed to know if he'd heard.

"How much did you hear?" I asked cautiously, stopping in the doorway, watching him.

He sighed slightly before closing his eyes and leaning his head against the wall, "Enough."

"Enough for what?" I questioned.

He opened his eyes and his eyes blazed into mine, "Enough to know, that this," He pointed between us, "Means absolutely nothing to you, that I mean nothing to you." He slammed his fist against the wall and then cursed loudly before trying to calm himself down, "Do you care about me at all?"

His question caught me off guard and I didn't know how to answer, "How am I supposed to answer that?"

He scoffed and pushed himself off of the wall, walking over to me and standing less than a few inches from me, "Your supposed to say yes you do care, or everything I've done was as much of a mistake as what you say it is."

"I still don't know how I'm supposed to answer that. I'm engaged to be married, that means that whatever 'this' . . . is, is wrong." I said my voice edging its way towards being aggravated.

"What exactly is 'this'? Please, enlighten me, because it's not as if we've done anything that is remotely bad. It's not as if you're married." He said exasperated.

I looked at him disbelief, "You're asking me what 'this' is? Honestly? This is the sickest thing I've ever done. I feel utterly repulsed at myself for what I've done, for the way I'm treating Jacob." I told him, my voice growling slightly, "But you, what you've done, well just at the thought of it I could be physically sick. You're disgusting!"

He clenched his teeth together, "I'm disgusting? You need to look in the mirror, you're no better than me!"

"I know I'm not! I know I've screwed up! I know that I might've lost Jacob because of this and I will take full responsibility for it just so that Jacob doesn't come up here and try to beat you up! That right there shows who has a little bit of decency in them." I growled at him.

He scoffed, "Why would you do that? I don't need you to protect me, I can take care of myself!"

"It's not you I'm worried about! I don't want him to get hurt if you decide to play dirty, and I know you will because that's you all over isn't it? Playing dirty? I bet if I asked Emmett he'd tell me the same and the way you've played me is exactly the type of behaviour I was referring to." I stepped closer and whispered, "Stay away from me from now on, you hear me? I want nothing more to do with you and you're sick and childish games."

He chuckled menacingly, "You didn't find them very sick and childish when we were making out on your bed, now did you?"

And with that I slapped him.

His chuckle died off and he rubbed his cheek, shock on his face. It looked more like a mask though, like he was trying to cover up another emotion, one which would reveal too much. I did feel bad, seeing him like that, the way the pain he was hiding was seeping through.

"You didn't have to slap me so damn hard!" He cursed quietly, his one hand rubbing his cheek as his other reached for the doorframe for support, I didn't hit him that hard, did I?

"Yes I did," I replied, "You have no right to speak to me that way."

He scoffed, "You're employed by my family, I could have you gone like that!" He said snapping his fingers, "You wouldn't want that to happen now would you?"

I scowled at him, "You wouldn't do that, I know you wouldn't."

He smirked, "Maybe I would, especially if you treat me and speak to me in a such a manner. I might have to have a discussion with my mother about your time with us."

"You're blackmailing me?" I hissed at him in disbelief my fingers curled up into balls at my sides.

He raised his eyebrows, "Watch yourself, that's all I'm saying. Or you might just find yourself looking for another job. Got it?"

I shook my head at him in disgust, "You're unbelievable,"

His expression changed and for a split second he looked remorseful, something that caused me to step closer to him, almost instinctively, as if to see if I could really see his remorse behind his mask. It was odd, nobody had made me so angry yet made me feel so alive in all my life, it was unnerving because it was so wrong when it felt so right, yet so annoying at the same time. If he could behave himself most of the time the annoying part would be gone, but I guess that was part of him.

I leaned in to him as his one hand slowly landed on my hip, I couldn't stop it now, we were in the same bubble we had been in when he'd followed me up to my room in the rain just four days ago and kissed me passionately. Not that I might have described it like that at the time, but now it was certainly passion. I placed my hand gently on his chest and leaned closer his head bowing down to reach the same level as mine. Just as his lips were inches from mine he whispered,

"Can't help yourself can you?" And like that he ruined the whole moment.

I slapped his chest, "You always know how to spoil something don't you?"

He smirked, but then grimaced, "What happened to the fiancé?"

"He was forgotten for a moment," I mentally slapped myself for saying that when Edward chuckled and commented,

"Well, lets forget him again shall we? I promise not to spoil it this time." He said pulling me closer.

I mentally groaned and forced myself to think of Jacob, but when Edward was leaning down to me again he slipped out of my mind and my hands reached round his neck and I brought myself closer to him. His eyes flickered to my lips and then to my eyes before they fluttered closed and his lips were just an inch from mine. I knew that I would give in eventually so I simply closed my eyes as well and waited for his lips to reach mine.

As soon as they did all my doubts and fears disappeared and it was just him and me. His lips on mine, no Jacob, no jobs, no classes, just two people very attracted to each other. As his lips moulded mine his arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me so close to him I could feel my body against his. He shoved me against the wall and even though it felt familiar to the first time it was different, it didn't feel as forceful, it was now mutual and nobody was hiding that now.

I heard footsteps up the stairs which were directly opposite us and I managed to tug Edward round the corner and through the door way to behind the wall and away from view without his lips leaving mine.

His lips sucked on my bottom one before moving in a fervent manner across mine, our lips moving in synchronisation. I felt all tingly in my head and my heart was beating wildly in my chest. His hands trailed up and down my back and my knees quivered and he clutched me closer to keep me up. My hands then tangled in his hair and I scratched lightly against his scalp and he moaned loudly.

The footsteps were suddenly much closer than they had been before and before either of us could react a tall blonde curvaceous woman peeked her head around the corner and gasped loudly at the scene in front of her. Her red lips and bright blue eyes framed with long black lashes were her best feature and with her curly blonde hair which reached halfway down her bag she looked like a supermodel, yet obviously a more reformed and better presented one. She was dressed in a loose beige off the shoulder top which stopped past her hips, her long legs were covered in a dark denim fabric which ruffled a little at the end where her feet were then covered with tall black heels.

"Rosalie?" Edward gasped out, his lips parting breathlessly from mine, so this was Emmett's fiancée? I was hoping to meet on better terms but I suppose it was now or never. Ha!

"Yes that's me," She replied harshly yet her honey type voice was still overthrown with shock at what she had encountered. "Care to explain what's going on?"

He pushed me away almost harshly and I felt hurt by his actions, he wiped hi lips gently and moved towards Rosalie, completely ignoring me. I couldn't believe him.

"What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here until tomorrow." He asked his voice trying to sound as innocent as possible, but he wasn't fooling her, or me for that matter.

"That's why I called Emmett about ten minutes ago, to tell him I was arriving early and that I was already round the corner from here. I wanted to surprise him," She looked at me from around Edward and then looked at Edward, "But it looks like he wasn't the one I surprised, does it?"

"I can explain . . . " Edward started but she cut him off.

"Don't start feeding me crap Edward, you know I don't stand for it," Her red lips were turned up at him in an unfeminine fashion, she looked pissed, "If you don't wish to tell me the truth in front of. . ." She trailed off looking over at me,

"What's you're name honey?" She asked, her voice much kinder.

I peeked around and shyly said, "Bella Swan, Miss."

She screwed her brow up and then a huge grin spread up her face and she chuckled, "Well, well Edward, making out with the staff is sure to get you in your mothers bad books. Trying to be a bit of a rebel are we?"

Edward grimaced, "Leave Bella out of it, I'll talk to you later. I'll explain everything."

She pursed her lips, "I'll be keeping you to that, I'm going to find out if Emmett knows anything about this." She said pointing between us, "Have fun!" She called as she walked back out, her hair swinging as she did.

Edward turned to me, "Rosalie won't tell a soul, honestly."

I wanted to believe him and in all honesty I did but he didn't even introduce me to her, or try to back me up or pay any attention to me while she was here it was as though I was invisible. My sarcastic side kicked in and the anger I was feeling bubbled up,

"Oh, I'm sorry, are you talking to me?" I faked looking around dramatically, "Because for a second I was invisible, can you see me now? Aren't you embarrassed about me now she's gone?"

He sighed deeply and approached me with his hands out in front of him, showing me he meant no harm, I crossed my arms and waited for him to explain,

"Bella," He whispered, taking my face in his hands and leaning down to look into my eyes, "I know, that no matter what you say to me, you don't want everybody knowing about this. For Jacob's sake. Which is why," He took a deep breath, "I think you should tell him."

I shook my head in his hands, "I can't."

"Fine, that means I'm going to have to behave myself, doesn't it?" He sighed, "It won't be easy but, you deserve to have an honest relationship with Jacob and I'm spoiling that. Actually to be totally honest I'm ruining what you have, and I cant do that anymore."

He confused me, he was talking as if we had been doing this for months not a few weeks. I began to doubt how shallow I had once thought his feelings were. His eyes looked almost pained as he kissed me one last time and then whispered,

"That will be the last time, I promise."

I couldn't say anything, my brain was still trying to process everything. It was all too much. I had felt guilty for kissing him but I wasn't about to stop it, I wanted him. For some unknown reason I was risking everything for just a few stolen moments a week with him. I stared after him when he kissed my forehead and then walked off around the corner, his shoulders slumped, his hands dug deep down into his pockets. It felt strange. Unnatural to watch him just walk away. And now after thinking that the way he had been speaking had been a bit too much, I realised it was spot on. This was wrong because it was fast turning into something more, that's why he was ending it, because it was more than what he had expected, what we had expected.

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><p><strong>REVIEW! Oh and have you guys listened to the new Bon Iver album? They're amazing if you haven't heard of them before so check them out. If you have then omg! How much do you just love Wash? <strong>

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**Love you guys!**

**In the next chapter: Rosalie, Jacob and some cold shoulder from Edward :(**** sad I know xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello! I know it's been awhile it's just I've been trying to get this Chapter done but I kept getting stuck, sorry guys!**

**Just a little explanation to Edward's hot and cold behaviour, and Bella's too. I know it's confusing but honestly once I've explained it will make sense.**

**Edward, well where to start. He's conflicted in so many ways. He at first just wanted some fun, he's just got back from Harvard, doing what his parents want and he just wanted to have some fun. Then, he kind of, as all stories involving Edward and Bella do, he kind of started to have feelings for her, which he's trying desperately to hide from her because he knows she'd flip. Then he has to keep all of this from his family, and now with Rose knowing he's exposed himself to even more trouble. He's drawn to Bella and can't help it, but gets infuriated by the way she reacts to him, she's all over him and then she's shouting at him and slapping him. See where he's coming from now?**

**Bella, well, she's a whole different story. She's been drawn to Edward since day one, you know that and now she feels a little more for him every time she's with him but she only cares for him. But she's engaged to Jacob who she's convinced herself to be in love with because she thinks it's right and that's who she should be with. She's got to keep this a secret from Jake and even though they've only kissed and messed about she knows it's enough to lose Jacob over and she doesn't want to hurt him. So whenever she's with Edward she'll be all over him one second then pushing him away and angry the next because what's she's doing isn't her and she's hurting Jacob. Also she knows that if she screws it up with Jacob her mother might never see her get married even though that's not the right reason to marry Jake she's trying to please everybody. She doesn't love Edward or have feelings for him like that. (yet;).**

**Hope you like!**

**ENJOY!**

**Song Inspiration was Charlie Simpson - Down Down Down**

Chapter 5

I went to see Jacob the next day.

The drive seemed to take forever and I nearly broke down into sobs halfway there when I realised I would have to tell him. It was inevitable, I knew that, I'd always known that but now, as I drove through town the houses, becoming further apart and ten clumped together as I drove through the suburbs, closer to Jake's house it made everything feel so much more realistic. The suburbs of Seattle were unnerving at times. The fact the houses and the families living in them looked so rehearsed so fake, like in a movie or catalogue advertising furniture or lawn ornaments or something along those lines, I wasn't fussed if they used children to advertise lawn ornaments or not. As I drove through a smaller suburb where the houses were significantly smaller and less, well for better use of words, snobby. This was where Jake lived. His grandmother had left him some money when she died and he'd used it buy this house, hoping that he'd be able to share it with someone. Later on he wanted that 'someone' to be me, unfortunately for him and well, at this current moment unfortunately for me as well, my job forced me to live with my employer.

I pulled up outside the small red house and sighed loudly, grasping the steering wheel for comfort. I needed comforting, I needed a miracle to stop Jake going up to the Cullen's and looking for Edward after I'd finished telling him what had been going on. I know that I hadn't realistically cheated on him, I hadn't slept with Edward and I never would either. But the fact that I knew what I was doing with Edward was wrong and that in a way I was being unfaithful to Jacob and then in the process destroying all hopes of a happy future with him broke me down, and now I was resolved to do nothing but tell him. There was no other alternative.

I took another deep breath and exited the car, slamming the door with my frustration. It took all the courage I had to walk up the path to the porch, even more to ring his doorbell and not runaway and all my strength not to break down in front of Jake when he opened the door. He stared wide eyed at me before grabbing me and pulling me to him, wrapping his arms completely around me.

"I didn't think you could get the day off!" He said, pulling away to kiss me on the lips softly. I tried to enjoy it but I couldn't I just felt sick to the stomach, knowing that not even twenty four hours ago I was kissing Edward.

He looked at me, concerned then when I didn't put my arms around him and didn't respond to him, "Are you okay?"

I nodded and smiled slightly at him, knowing it wasn't my genuine smile. I needed to get a grip on myself or he'd know that something was bothering me. He seemed to accept my smile and pulled me inside of his cosy home.

His house always made me feel safe and warm, with all the different browns and warm greens and reds in the house. He'd tried to model it on his house back in La Push, near where I was from as well. It was about an hour drive from Seattle, just off the west coast down the 101 to Forks from Port Angeles. I was from Forks and Jake was from La Push. It was weird that we only lived fifteen minutes away from each other, in two very small towns and yet we meet in Seattle, the biggest city in the State of Washington.

I sat on the caramel coloured couch, picking up the burgundy coloured pillow next to me and placing it in my lap for a distraction. Jake sat opposite me in the brown mud coloured armchair and smiled warmly at me as he moved the pillow from behind him and threw it over to the couch where it landed with a soft thud next to me.

"How's work?" I asked leaning back into the couch, letting the soft cushions envelop me in their comfort.

He sighed and smiled, "It's going really good, Mr Sykes said I'm getting a raise for all the extra hours I've been putting in at the garage."

I sat up and beamed at him, "That's brilliant! I knew you'd get what you deserved, you've been working so hard you were bound to get a raise."

His smile faded, "Is it?"

I looked at him, confused, "Yeah, it is. Isn't it?"

He sat up stiffly and folded his hands together, wringing his hands together, "You tell me, because ever since I heard your truck pull up you've been acting out. You stayed in there for a good five minutes and then you looked like you were going to pass out by the way you held onto the steering wheel. Then you had a tantrum and slammed your door shut and when I answered the door you looked like you were about to be sick and when I kissed you, you stood still, rigid almost. What's going on?"

I knew he'd notice, he was too observant, kind of like me in that way. I knew I should've been more careful but I knew that if I had to do this again I'd do it the same way, because that's just me. I tried to smile to cover up but it made me look guilty, "Nothing, honestly."

He stood up, "Are you having doubts about the wedding? Or don't you want to be with me anymore? Or has something happened that you don't want to tell me?"

I stood up as well, "I don't have a clue what you're talking about."

He scoffed, "Ever since I opened that door I knew something was up. You looked like you had to kill a puppy or something, like it was inevitable. What's going on Bella? Tell me or I swear to God I'll call Angela, she always knows what's going on with you, and she'll be honest with me, unlike you at this moment."

I could feel my stomach become queasy, my head start to pound and my heart gave a squeeze, or a wheeze I'm not sure which, I just knew I needed to tell him and quickly before I came up with an excuse, or before I ran out of here. He stood in front of me and crossed his arms,

"Well?"

Everything became blurry and my ears popped, every sound became distorted as I spoke the words I knew would tear his heart apart. I rushed through it trying to get it over with it was a very small account of everything which had happened and I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes while I did,

"Mrs Cullen's son arrived home a few weeks ago, or maybe a week ago I can't remember. Everything's gone so fast." I started, "But anyway, he kind of came onto me and I didn't exactly stop it but I didn't exactly encourage him I told him I was engaged but he thought it was all a game. He kissed my neck and stuff but left when his Mother walked past the closet looking for him." I took a deep breath and couldn't believe I was actually doing this, "Anyway a few days later I was pouring drinks to the family and we started talking about family and my dad got brought up and you know how that upsets me so I ran out of there but he followed me up to my room. We talked and then we were kissing. We didn't stop until Angela walked in on us. I begged her not to tell you until I did but then yesterday Ange saw me with him, we were talking with his brother Emmett but Em had a phone call so left. We had hardly said two words to each other when Ange saw us and then ran off. I ran after her and found her going to call you but I convinced her not to. I said something to her about Edward that was mean and would hurt his feelings and when I went to leave he was standing outside the door." I remembered his face when I stepped around the corner, I guessed that was what Jake's face looked like now, "I tried to apologise and the argument got a bit heated, and then we were kissing again. Emmett's fiancée walked in on us then and me and Edward agreed that we'd stop this and I'd tell you because it was so wrong and I didn't want to hurt you."

I felt a tear fall down my cheek and then I looked up to see Jake's eyes pained and tormented, I could see betrayal in them and I took a deep breath to steady myself before I started sobbing. His face changed quickly to anger and he grabbed his keys off the coffee table and rushed out the room.

"Jacob! Don't! I know what you're going to do and it won't help!" I shouted after him as he wrenched the front door open and ran down the steps to his car.

"Don't try and stop me Bella," He growled, "He had no right to touch in the first place! I'm going to break his bloody hands off! Just watch me!"

He got into his car, slamming the door shut, I banged on the car window begging him to calm down and not to go through with this but he just started the engine and drove off with me shouting after him. Not even thinking I headed to my truck as quickly as possible and raced after him nothing in my mind other than stopping him from doing what I knew he would regret. I arrived just after Jake, he jumped out the car as soon as I pulled up and I chased after him, but he had already pushed past Kenneth the new guy, he answered the door now. He said a quick 'hello' as I ran past him and shouted after him,

"Jake! I swear to god if you dare start a fight I'll kill you!" I screamed after him as he entered the living room.

Emmett was sitting on the couch, his arm around Rosalie when he came charging in. Emmett and Rosalie looked up and Emmett asked why Jake was here. They'd met previously at a dinner party I was invited to and had hit it off.

"Where's your brother?" Jacob demanded.

Emmett look confused but answered, "He's upstairs, on the balcony I think."

Jacob took off up the stairs before Emmett could ask again and then Emmett saw me and his eyes bugged out of his sockets as he realised what was going on. He scrambled to get up as I ran across the living room and up the stairs after Jacob, shouting after him.

"Jake, don't do what I think you're going to do mate! It's not worth it!" Emmett shouted after him, running right behind me, Rosalie behind him.

I finally got to the top of the stairs as he rounded the corner towards the balcony as Edward walked through the doorway to come inside. I couldn't get to them fast enough.

"Are you Edward?" Jake asked, seething.

Edward nodded suspiciously, "Why?"

"Because I came to knock your brains out." Jake said taking a swing at Edward and hitting him square in the face.

I screamed and Edward fell to the floor. Emmett was just behind me as Edward got up and tackled Jake right to the floor and threw a punch in his face and I heard the crunch of Jake's nose coming into contact with Edward's fist. They threw punch after punch at each other and tackled each other on the ground as I ran across the space to them, shouting at them to stop. Emmett had been right behind me but now I couldn't see him, he was nowhere behind me.

"You messed around with my fiancée you dick!" Jacob growled, "And I'm going to make you pay for it!"

Edward smirked and struggled to get up as Jake scrambled to his feet as well; they stood there facing each other for a moment as I stood just a few feet away from them. I was paralysed with shock.

"Well," Edward started, "It's not like she didn't enjoy it, and she even encouraged it a few times."

Jake launched himself at Edward and they slammed into the wall, wrestling with each other to get to throw a punch.

"I swear, I'm going to kill you!" Jacob shouted.

"I'd like to see you try," Edward sneered, "Does it upset you to think we made out on her bed? My hands on her. Does it make you seethe with anger? Does it?"

Emmett said Edward played dirty and he was so right, he was just riling Jacob up now, to get a reaction. I couldn't believe how stupid they were being. Jacob then grabbed Edward round the throat and pushed him further up against the wall., lifting his feet off of the ground, Edward was kicking needlessly at his shins but Jacob didn't even wince.

I grabbed at Jake's arms begging him to let him go, but he just squeezed Edward's neck harder and I screamed louder,

"You're going to kill him! Jacob let him go!" I was hysterical and I could see Edward struggling to breathe.

He managed to get out, "Does it make you angry that she ripped her shirt when trying to get it off when we were on her bed?"

Jake squeezed tighter and I grabbed Jake's arms, tugging as hard as I could to get him to let go. I didn't stop screaming as Edward's kicks became slower and his face turned a little blue. Emmett ran into the room with Mr Cullen and Rosalie then and Emmett rushed over to get Jacob off of Edward.

"You're killing him!" I screamed again.

Emmett tackled Jake to the ground and Edward gasped and fell to floor, coughing and wheezing as he tried to get up. I fell to my knees in front of him and tried to get him to breathe properly, my hands stroking his face softly and running my hands through his hair.

He managed to wheeze out, "I deserved that."

I shushed him and turned to see Jacob struggling in Emmett's arms,

"Let me go! I swear I'll kill you if you don't let me go! He deserves what he got!"

I ignored him as Emmett and Mr Cullen escorted him down stairs and hopefully outside to calm down. I was more concerned with how Edward was. Rosalie came and helped me help him up and into the drawing room to sit down on the couch in there. He groaned when he lay down and winced when Rosalie let him go a little roughly.

"You deserve that," She sneered.

I couldn't disagree on that part. He had acted like a complete idiot and nearly gotten himself killed. He shouldn't have jeered Jacob on; it just made him even more aggressive. I couldn't believe he'd said all those things though, I was so ashamed and yet so angry at Edward for doing that. I should have acted sooner, that's what was bugging me, I should have intervened before it got that far but I was in shock, I was motionless, I didn't know what to do, or how I could stop this. But then it was too late.

I felt Edward tug on my hand and his eyes were concerned, "What's wrong?"

I sat on the edge of couch next to him and stroked his hand which was in mine; I shook my head, "I don't know, I think I'm in shock to be honest with you."

"I guess you told him then?" Edward snickered a little.

I slapped his arm, "That's not funny. He could have killed you! You shouldn't have riled him up like that, and the things you said were horrible. You shouldn't have said that to him, I hurt him enough."

He hung his head, "I know, I didn't think, I was in a fight and I kind of go all macho or whatever and I don't think. It's all that testosterone." Then he smiled slightly, the face of shame gone in an instant, "I thought you were worried about him getting hurt when you went to tell him, not me."

I lay my head against his shoulder and sighed, "I was, until I saw his face when I told him, then I was worried about you. I didn't know what would happen I just knew I didn't want any of you to get hurt."

He caressed my hand with his thumb and put his arm around me, we'd never been intimate in such a casual way before and it was different, it felt nice. Like I could trust him in some way.

"You don't have to worry about me; I can take care of myself." Edward said quietly and I scoffed at him.

"Obviously. That's why you were the one against the wall being strangled." I couldn't help the aggravated tone that filled my words, "If Emmett hadn't have turned up then I would be lying next to a dead Edward. I'm sure of it."

He turned his head to me, "You'd be upset if I died?"

I nodded, "I care about you. Did you not see me screaming when Jacob was killing you?" I joked slightly.

He chuckled, "No, I was trying too hard to ignore the big bright light which I was heading for."

I slapped his arm, "That's not funny! I was really worried and scared; I thought you might kill each other."

"He had a reason to kill me, I had none. I wouldn't have gone that far, honestly."

He seemed sincere and I believed him for some odd reason. He pulled me closer to him and I hid my face in the crook of his neck, inhaling. He stroked my hair softly and I drifted a little, exhausted by the whole ordeal. I rolled over and was met with my pillow; I groaned and sat up, taking in the room, my room. How the hell did I get here? I looked around and then noticed a slumped figure on my couch. I slipped out of bed as quietly as possible and tiptoed around the bookcase to see who it was. I sighed when I recognised Rosalie's golden blonde hair but then started to panic. What was she doing here? Did I lose my job? Is she here to tell me? Thousands of questions ran through my head and I nearly jumped out of my skin when she said,

"Are you gonna continue to stand there and watch me or are you going to speak? Because frankly, I don't like people watching me sleep." Her eyes flickered open and she sat up running her fingers through her long hair.

"I erm . . . I didn't, erm I was just . . . oh I don't know, I woke up and you were here and I was trying to figure out how I got here and why you were here and then you gave me a heart attack so . . ." I was extremely incoherent today, I could see by the clock on the coffee table it was nine in the morning which meant I'd slept for more than twelve hours. Jeez I was tired.

Rosalie stood up and straightened her white blouse, looking around for something, "Do you have a brush?" She asked suddenly and I nodded quickly rushing over to my bedside table to retrieve it.

"And the reason I'm here is because I wanted to talk to you about yesterday, and to answer your musing of how you got here, Emmett brought you up. Carlisle wanted to check Edward so I asked Emmett if he would bring you up here to rest, you looked exhausted so . . . yeah. That's that." She took the brush from my outstretched hand and smiled, "Thanks."

I yawned and then ran my fingers through my hair, feeling the knots in it, I groaned and then said, "Is Edward okay? He looked really bad yesterday, is he any better? And what happened to Jacob? Is he okay? They really went at it yesterday and I was worried and . . ." I stopped, "I'm asking too many questions aren't I?"

Rosalie had an amused look on her face, "Just a few." She sat back down, "Well to start with, Edward's fine, he's got bruises on his neck and a bruise on his cheek, Carlisle says his throat will me sore for a few days but other than that he's fine. You're fiancé, Jacob, is it?" I nodded, "Well, he's got a broken nose and a few bruises here and there but he's fine, a bit sore I guess but other than that he's fine as well. Emmett drove him home, and gave him a message for me to give to you." She told me biting her lip.

I walked over to the armchair and sat down, "What? What is it?"

"He just wants to talk to you. He says he's sorry for acting the way he did and wants to talk to you about it and what you told him. I'm guessing you told him about the fling you and Edward have been having?" She said and I nodded.

"I don't what to call it though, we've been together in that way three times and the first time it was him coming onto me. Really, it's . . . I don't know what it is to be honest with you. I'm just as confused about it as everybody else," Then it hit me, "Does Mr Cullen know about this? I mean he had to tend to Edward and Jacob, did he ask? Oh my god! I'm going to lose my job, aren't I?" I was full on panicking now and Rosalie had to come over and grip my shoulders roughly.

"Calm down! You're overreacting!" She sighed when I calmed myself down and then sat back down, sitting on the edge of her seat, "I don't know what we'd call it either, to be honest I'd just call it a strong attraction which you're acting on, which to be honest is stupid. You hardly know the guy!"She exclaimed, a little hysterical and I looked at her, freaked out, "I could understand if it had been after getting to know him or something but honestly you don't know each other. Don't take offence, I'm just being honest."

I nodded. She was right, I didn't know him, and we were just attracted to each other. And I'd risked my whole relationship with Jacob because of a stupid attraction with a good looking young man. I had to fix this, I had to speak to Jacob, I needed to hear what he wanted to say, I needed to know if we still had a future, because I loved him. I don't think I'd said it or even thought it before but now I understood, I loved Jacob, I was sure of it. Rosalie's answer ran through my head, she didn't answer one of my questions though.

"What about Mr Cullen?" I asked again, my voice a little strained.

She sighed, "Edward revealed everything, the great idiot. Mr Cullen had a fit and is sending Edward back to Medical school in the next week. He said you could keep your job as long as you didn't contact Edward and nothing else happened. I think it's fair to be honest." She mused.

I nodded. Edward was being sent away; I didn't feel anything to that, a little twinge that told me I actually cared about him but other than that nothing. I could keep my job as long as I didn't contact Edward, which was fair, like Rosalie had said. I thought that I'd feel more but I didn't. Edward leaving wasn't affecting me.

"That's fine," I told her, "I have no intention to contact him."

Rosalie scrutinized my expression, "You care about him don't you?"

"Of course," I replied, "I'll miss him for some odd reason that I can't find, but other than that I'm glad he's leaving. He started this mess."

Rosalie nodded solemnly, "Okay, I think you need to talk to Jacob soon, before it's too late. He loves you, I can see that and I don't think he wants to give up on you just yet either."

I nodded and she left the room, smiling slightly at me as she did. After she left I collapsed onto the sofa with a huff and opened the draw near the lamp, pulling out a small blue velvet box. I had lied when I said Jacob hadn't given me a ring or that I didn't want one. I just kept it hidden. I opened it to reveal the simple gold plated band with a small diamond on it. It wasn't worth much, but it was enough. I needed to show Jacob that I needed him, and that I didn't want to lose him either.

**I know all you people who are like, omg! But Edward and Bella have to be together! Give it time. Not all of my stories will involve Bella and Edward being in love from the beginning or at least have feelings for each other. It's nice writing something different.**

**Anyways, leave a review and I'll try to post as quickly as I can with the inevitable school term approaching! **

**Loves (Nicole) xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello! Sorry it's been ages. More on that at the bottom. **

**This chapter is set three months later.**

**Loving the reviews! Thank you guys so much! I am really sorry that it's been so long though. Hope you guys still review. 3 xx**

Chapter 6

I didn't know what to expect when I had finally gotten the courage to go and see Jacob the next day. I wanted him to shout at me, I needed him to forgive me, but I didn't expect him to be so calm. That completely threw me. I didn't know how to reply to him, what to say to him had lost all sense due to his unnaturally calm nature. I had been prepared to grovel, cry, scream, shout, have my heartbroken like I'd broken his, but he didn't do any of those things.

_Three months earlier._

_I pulled up knowing I'd ruined my only relationship. The only relationship I cared about, the only one that actually mattered. I'd betrayed him. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror anymore, what I did was disgusting. I got out, closing the car door behind me softly before taking a deep breath and walking up the drive to the door. I knocked gently twice and waited._

_Jacob looked haggard when he opened the door, and I had to tell myself that it was my fault. I'd hurt him so much. I'd done this to him. He looked at me for a second before letting me in, not a word spoken. I entered the house and headed for the living room. I stood awkwardly in the middle of the room before Jacob came around and sat down._

"_Sit." He said, monotone._

_I did as he said and waited for him to speak._

"_I still love you Bella." He told me, his eyes pained when he looked at me, "I don't think anything will change that. I was prepared to give you anything, everything that I could. I was going to move away with you. But you broke that trust, you betrayed me Bella. The one person who I never thought would hurt me in that way did."_

"_I'm so sorry, Jacob." I whispered my voice breaking._

"_Don't apologise. I blame you, but I don't. I blame him the most, maybe for being something I couldn't be. I'm not mysterious, he is, that's what drew you in and I know it. He charmed you and you fell for it." He sighed and I could see the pain in his eyes. "I still love you though. That's what hurts the most, the fact I love you but you obviously didn't love me enough because you cheated." _

_I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I felt a tear in my heart. I'd hurt him so much that I didn't even recognise him; he looked so forlorn, so helpless. This wasn't the happy, friendly, loveable Jake I knew. This was the broken version. I wanted to make it better; I wanted to make him better. He had loved me and cared for me and I'd taken all of that and thrown it all away for a man I had an attraction to. _

"_Jake, I love you." I told him. Not realising at first that it was the first time I'd actually said it out loud to him. _

_He looked at me, shocked, flabbergasted and then the next thing I knew he was kneeling in front of me, his face so relieved and yet pained that I thought it might tear a hole through my chest. _

"_Do you mean it? Do you really love me; if you really do we can move on. We can start over and I'll forget all about this if you just tell me you really do love me." He said his tone pleading as he kissed my hands. The hope in his eyes almost broke me and I realised that he was giving me a second chance. He was willing to forget about all the horrible things I'd done to him as long as I confirmed that I loved him. I could be lying to him for all he knew and he'd still give me this chance. It didn't dawn on me until then just how much Jacob was willing to give me._

"_I love you." I whispered to him and his eyes brightened at my words._

_He pulled me up and threw his arms around me, holding me to his chest. My arms wrapped around his neck and I held him back, my fingers threading through the short hair at the back of his neck. He pulled away and kissed my lips softly, which I returned, willingly. He smiled at me and I smiled back before whispering,_

"_I'm so sorry for hurting you." _

_He hushed me and pulled me back into his arms._

He hadn't forgiven me just like that. He knew he had my love and we continued to work on the rest. I'd moved out of the Cullen's house and into Jake's house, it was longer to travel in a morning but it was worth it. Especially being able to see Jacob's face when I woke up in a morning. That made everything worthwhile.

I poured myself some coffee, yawning as I did and looked at the clock on the wall. Urgh, quarter past five. I had to be up this early though, if I wasn't I'd be late for work and at the moment we needed the money. Now that I didn't have free accommodation things were harder on us. The electricity bills were higher, so was the water bill and the groceries cost a fortune as well. We were doing our best at saving money but it was no use when we were just spending it on paying for the bills. I felt two warm arms wrap around my waist and a chin rest on my shoulder as I stirred my coffee and smiled as Jake hummed in appreciation.

"That smells so good." He sighed, inhaling.

I giggled as he kissed my neck, "Do you want some? I can pour you another mug if you want?"

His arms tightened around my waist, "Yes please, I'm so tired."

He let me go then and went to the counter where he turned on the radio before heading for the table and sat down with a groan.

"You didn't have to wake up yet, you know that. It's just that if I don't wake up I'll be late for work and we need the money." I told him placing another mug of coffee in front of him.

"I know but I can't sleep when you're not there." He whined, taking my hand and kissing it.

I laughed, "You better get used to it, and Mrs Cullen said she was going to up my hours because one of the cleaners is on maternity leave. So I'm sorry but unless you want to take it up with the Demon then you're going to have to get used to sleeping by yourself." I brushed his cheek gently and his eyes closed.

"Well then, I'll just have to make the most of our time now, won't I?" He muttered and I was in his lap then, his arms wrapped tightly around me.

I looked at him and smiled, shaking my head at his childish behaviour. Our lips touched and then we were suddenly in full making out mode. His tongue entered my mouth almost roughly and I moaned as his hands found their way into my hair, securing my face to his. My hands lay limply on his chest as he kissed me and I couldn't find it in me to move. I was so dizzy. My lips started to move against his then but he pulled away all too soon.

"If you don't go now I don't think I'm going to be able to let you go." He chuckled, a little breathless.

I nodded and got up quickly, kissing his lips softly as I did. He groaned at that and as I ran out the room to get ready, coffee in hand he shouted,

"Damn it Swan! You're going to kill me!"

I laughed and placed my coffee down on my dresser before heading into the bathroom to get ready. Things were pretty good between me and Jacob now. He'd told me he'd forgiven me but I always had a little thought in the back of my mind that he had to still have doubts about me every now and then because he looked at me sometime as if I was going to run away at any second. We'd decided to stay engaged, but postpone the wedding. We agreed that a year was enough to try to sort through everything, both to do with the wedding and ourselves. If we both had any doubts at any time we were to voice them and not bottle them up. So far we had done incredibly well. My mother even commented on how much happier we seemed to look when we went to visit her in Forks last week. She was better as well. The chemo had gone unbelievably well and all the cancer was gone. She was still tired and having to take medication but she was better and if the chemo was truly successful then she should be fit and healthy within the next year.

I went out to the kitchen, fully dressed and ready to find Jacob slouched over the table, snoring. I smirked at his sleeping form and placed the invitation to Mrs Cullen's charity ball at her house next week under his chin. I kissed his forehead softly before heading for the door.

The drive to the Cullen mansion was longer than usual today due to a road block but I managed to get there in time to start breakfast for the family. Emmett was still friendly with me and didn't seem to be bothered about what happened between his brother and me. Mr Cullen, however was treating me differently. He'd called me into his office the day after the incident with Edward and Jacob and I'd explained to him everything and told him that I would never do such a thing again and I hoped I could keep my job. He laughed at the last part and hugged me which was a surprise, telling me he had no intention to fire me and that he was sorry that Edward had treated me in such a manner after I'd told him I was engaged. He still smiled at me but there was something a little off, like he was waiting for me to crack under pressure or something. Mrs Cullen was oblivious to everything and still treated me like the dirt she thought I was. The newest addition to the family was Rosalie.

After Edward had gone back to school just two days after Jacob had nearly killed him, Emmett and Rosalie went away for the weekend and came back married. Mrs Cullen went mad at Emmett for not letting them have a proper wedding but Rosalie assured her that they wanted it to be small and that her brother, Jasper had been there along with Edward, to witness it. I imagined Edward had gotten a verbal beating off of his mother that night on the phone. Rosalie didn't treat me bad at all, she was actually really friendly and nice to me. She talked to me while I was working when she didn't have anything to do and had invited me to a small gathering she was organising for in a few weeks' time.

It was just going to be a small formal gathering to celebrate her marriage to Emmett and I was pleased to have been invited. Jacob had been invited too, considering he was my fiancé and all. This gave me just two weeks, maybe a little more to find something suitable to wear to a Cullen party. I was at a loss to what would be acceptable but Rosalie pulled me aside and told me I should wear blue. She was wearing a floor length red and white dress and that I should pick out a blue one. So despite the fact I had to clean the hardwood floor in the dining room again, I was on Rosalie's laptop in her study looking at dress shops in Seattle.

You wouldn't think it would be so hard to find a dress for a party but this was a Cullen party and they're about as extravagant as a royal party. I wrote down an address or two for some dress shops and then quickly exited the room, deciding it was time to get back to work.

"Isabella!"

I groaned and quickly made my way to the dining room where the voice was sounding from. I had a good idea as to who was calling for me and low and behold as I entered the dining room Mrs Cullen stood there, an inexplicable expression on her face.

"Yes, ma'am?" I answered, bowing my head slightly. She deserved a little more respect from me nowadays considering she had just raised my salary and considering I made out with her son more than once.

She put her hands on her hips and huffed, "I thought you were supposed to be cleaning this floor? Darling Rosalie's wedding party is in three weeks and I want them sparkling long before the actual party, do you hear?"

I nodded, "Yes, ma'am."

She looked satisfied then, "Good, well get to it then."

With that Mrs Cullen left the room and I started on cleaning the floor to the best of my ability. Two hours later and I was finally finished. Angela had come in to help me at one point because she had a free half an hour but was shooed off by Rosalie who sat down and talked to me while I worked, and also because Mrs Cullen was doing her rounds of the house and knew Angela would get in trouble for helping me. Rosalie wouldn't stop gushing over her wedding dress and said she couldn't wait for me to see it. To be honest I wasn't surprised. She'd shown me one small picture she kept in her purse of that day and the dress did look nice, even though the picture was quite small.

The day was pretty boring; with the only exciting thing to happen at the house being Emmett sliding down the bannister after Angela had cleaned it. Mrs Cullen's face was a picture when she saw Emmett doing that but I gave him a high five behind her back for making my day. He was like the older brother I'd never had and our interaction hadn't wavered in light of other past events. He still talked to me while I worked and brought me drinks so I didn't get thirsty. He talked non-stop about Rosalie and how he'd never felt happier, to which I gave him a hug, telling him I was glad he was so happy. He started talking about how Rosalie's brother, Jasper had just gotten engaged to the daughter of a founder of a company which nearly every other business in the world used. Emmett talked about how Alice Brandon, I think that was her name, was even smaller than me by the picture Jasper had sent him. They were planning on a wedding abroad somewhere warm due to Alice's insistence that she could wear a short dress down the aisle, which would be impossible if she got married in either her home town or Jasper's which happened to be Alaska.

I'd discovered other things about Rosalie's family as well, mostly it being the fact her family lived in Alaska and that she and her brother had grown up there before moving down because of their father's business. Rosalie got homesick a few weeks ago and because he couldn't deny Rosalie anything Emmett organised a trip up to Alaska to see her family. She came back beaming and all happy that her family was so acceptant of their so sudden marriage. Even though they had been engaged beforehand, they're marriage wasn't expected to happen for another six months. Well that's what Mrs Cullen had wanted, I'm not sure as to what Rosalie and Emmett had planned but whatever they had planned went out the window a little.

I was just finishing up when I heard the phone ring in the living room. It was a little bit odd because they usually got phone calls between nine and twelve in the morning and then two and four in the afternoon. It was now nearing five o'clock and I was sure Mrs Cullen wasn't going to be too happy about that.

Making my way towards the living room I heard Mrs Cullen answer the phone with a huff.

"Hello?" Her voice was impatient, obviously disgruntled at the caller for interrupting her in whatever she had been doing previously.

Moving closer to the door way I listened closely. I usually wasn't one for eavesdropping but I couldn't help but be curious to the caller and their intentions. My curiosity heightened when Mrs Cullen suddenly exclaimed,

"Edward! Darling, how nice to hear from you!" I froze where I was, my heart beating a little faster. "How's school?" She asked, a smile in her tone.

I moved closer and put my ear against the door, my hands on either side of my face as I listened carefully to what was being said on the other side of the door.

"Will you be back for the holidays? They're only two months away you know?" Her voice was so cheery that I had a feeling either she was about to receive some bad news or even better news. Though how things could get better was beyond me. If Edward had finally decided to clear his conscience and tell his mother over the phone what he'd done three months ago regarding myself then I was sure I needed to leave right away.

I listened intently at the door, waiting for something to indicate what was being said was either good or bad news. Just when I was about to give up Mrs Cullen screamed joyfully and started calling for Mr Cullen.

"Carlisle! Carlisle! Get down here!" She shouted, her voice full of joy, "Oh, Edward! You've made me so happy! Engaged, at last!"

My heart stopped. He'd have to come home now. To introduce everyone to his fiancée. I'd be here. He'd see me. Shit.

"What's with all the screaming, Esme?" Carlisle asked from what was most probably the stairway.

"Edward's engaged!" She declared and I heard Mr Cullen laugh.

"Finally, I thought that boy would never get his act together." Implications ran deep through his tone and I gulped.

I moved my ear away from the door and leaned against the wall, trying to control my breathing. I'm pretty sure all of the colour had left my face. It felt as if it had just been drained. I wasn't scared to see him because I had feelings for him, quite the opposite really, I was scared because I'd have to see him and I'd feel guilty. I didn't know if I was going to be able to hide what happened when he turned up, bringing up past events I wanted to forget. _I had to get a new job._

The door opened then and Mr Cullen stepped through. He noticed me immediately and looked at me, confused before he seemed to grab onto the fact I'd heard what had been said over the phone.

"Are you alright, Bella?" He asked, carefully. His eyes trained on my pale face.

I nodded and swallowed audibly before managing to make a sound, "Yes," I croaked.

He didn't look convinced, "Do you want some time off?"

He was giving me a way out. He was telling me that if I didn't want to be here when his son was I had to choice to leave. He understood that it would bring up past memories I didn't want to remember. He knew that it would be hard and he knew that I might crack under the pressure. I didn't want to give in though. I didn't want a way out. I knew deep down that I needed to face my problems, that running from them never helped. It didn't solve anything. I need to look him in the eyes and realise that it was in the past and that we couldn't change it.

I looked up at Carlisle and shook my head, determined and replied with, "No, I'll be fine."

He nodded and gave me a small smile, "As long as you're sure. But if you need to take some time off then just come and see me."

I nodded again, "I'm sure."

**Okay. I know it's been ages and I'm not going to make excuses, other than the fact I literally have been piled up with school work in prep for my exams this year so yeah. Happy New Year by the way. Hope you've all got some good new year resolutions. Mine is to update sooner. I am really sorry for the wait. **

**Hope you haven't given up on me. **

**Nicole xxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Back! Sorry it's been a few weeks, school work piling up again. **

**I've had a few comments and messages about how people don't like the whole Bella and Jacob thing. And some have said they're going to stop reading if I don't do something about it. **

**First, let me assure you that Jacob is merely a pawn in my game, or story in getting Bella and Edward together. **

**Secondly, it's going to be tough so don't expect them to be together like that and for them to live happily ever after. There's going to be some angst and drama and family and romance. If I could put all of them in the genre category for this story I would.**

**Finally, I just wanted you guys to know, if you were wondering that is, and this is mainly from one pm I got and my friend's comments about Jacob, that at no point will Jacob and Bella do anything beyond kissing. Okay? I don't like him either. Happy now? Because that was as awkward as hell.**

**Enjoy!**

Chapter 7

**EPOV (I KNOW!)**

I'd never heard my mother scream so much at me, and for once I was glad it was for something she was happy about. She had scolded me too many times when I was younger and now I had no intention of having her do that again. I mean I was nearly twenty – seven years old! I really didn't want my mother scolding me down the phone for getting engaged. I was glad she had taken it so well.

Considering she had never met Tanya and that I had hardly called her in the three months I'd been away since . . . well, since I made some very bad decisions, I was a little shocked that she hadn't shouted at me for not telling her sooner about Tanya or that I should have brought her home to meet the family before I proposed to her. Luckily, I think the only thing on her mind was that she didn't have to worry about marrying off her sons to wealthy women anymore. Or the daughters of wealthy men.

Tanya Denali. She was gorgeous. Her sleek strawberry blonde hair framed her long face and brought out the colour in her icy blue eyes. She had a slight tan to her skin, mainly from her recent trip to the Caribbean. She also had the most perfect lips. Her bottom one just slightly bigger than her top one, giving her that perfect heart shaped look. They were always a juicy pink colour, one that looked natural but I knew she had used that lip staining stuff she kept talking to her sister Irina about. She was extremely tall for a girl but I didn't mind one bit. She was a few inches shorter than me at 5'10 compared to my 6'1 but she wasn't too short which was nice. She had quite slender legs but quite a curvy top, a little out of proportion but she worked it to her advantage by wearing thin pencil skirts to show off her legs and fluffy blouses to hug her top. She was the perfect woman for me physically.

It was a good thing I was attracted to her, being attracted to someone wasn't a bad thing and it's not as if that was all I liked about her either. She was smart and witty and had a bitchy side I loved. She wasn't very patient but was caring and spent time with me just on my couch in my apartment, simply just talking about random things. She was interested in business and the way things were done which wasn't much different to myself. I loved to know how things worked and how they were done, studying in medicine was sure to make me want to learn new things. She was confident in herself and wasn't shy at all. She could be very quiet and sweet but I'd only seen that side a few times.

She was a very successful woman as well. Her father owned his own business abroad in Europe and it was making him a considerable amount of money. Tanya was currently learning the ropes of the business for when she went to work with him later on. I didn't know what his company offered or what they actually did I just knew from Tanya that she'd had a comfortable lifestyle because of it. She was a little spoilt and could be bratty but I'd only seen her behave like that when I went to ask her father for his permission to marry Tanya.

He'd been really hesitant and Tanya had thrown me out of the room so she could talk to her father. I heard her shouting and whining and eventually he gave in, mainly due to the fact Tanya had told him my family was wealthy. I wasn't upset about the fact my family's money had come into that, it always did. It was just part of things now.

I'd known Tanya for quite a while but it was only when I was sent away by my father because of my behaviour at home with . . . well for my behaviour, that I decided I needed to start thinking about the future and what mine was going to be, or what I would like it to be. I wanted a family, a wife, a job that I loved. I wanted all of these things but mainly I knew I just wanted to be loved.

In a family like mine you would have thought my mother spoilt us rotten and our father hardly spent time with us but it was rather the opposite really.

When we were younger my father was in the midst of his realtors job and was giving everything he had to make it work. He'd already had many successful jobs and had earned a few hundred thousand because of it but he loved his work too much to just set it aside. He loved us very much. When he did have days off he was always with us, playing with us taking us to the park or just simply watching a film with me and Emmett.

My mother loved her fundraising. Mainly because she was a gossiper and those functions gave her the best opportunities to do so. Also because she did love raising money for good causes. She did, however, remind me of those characters on that TV show, Desperate Housewives. She was pretty much a character in her own right and should have been given a place on that show if I was the producer. Unfortunately, in her attempt to have the perfect family home she forgot about the actual family.

Emmett and me used to argue over things just so she'd pay us some attention but she just used to give us some new toy or some sweets to get us to shut up so she could continue organising her next function, or so she could continue looking into her new plans for redecorating the living room for the hundredth time. Emmett soon realised she was too busy to give us her time and gave up. I however, refused to give up. She was my mother and I wanted her to love me. I was about five and Emmett was eight.

I'd throw fits in order to get her attention but when that didn't work I decided to just ask her to play with me instead. Or ask her to read me a story. I was given responses such as, 'Mommy's busy, go play with your brother,' or 'Please, Edward, Mommy hasn't got the time to read you a bedtime story, just go to sleep.' That was pretty much how we grew up. Our father giving us anytime of his he could and a mother who was always around but never seemed to want to pay us any attention.

I suppose that all changed when Emmett brought home a girl for the first time when he was nineteen. I had just turned sixteen and had put my head down in school, studying hard for each term paper. Emmett came home for the holidays and brought a curvy red head home. I can't remember her name but I remember my mother going absolutely mad because the girl had grown up in a small two bedroomed house in the country and because her father was an engineer. Emmett really liked the girl but my mother told him she'd do something she'd regret if he ever bought someone home who was deemed unworthy of her eldest son. I think it was then that my mother realised she needed to guide her sons futures. Mainly to do with matchmaking.

Luckily, Emmett found Rosalie all by himself. He had been on a business trip in New York when he met her at a charity function. They'd hit it off straight away and had been in love ever since. When Emmett called me up and asked me to fly to Florida I was a little apprehensive as to what he had done then. To find out Emmett and Rosalie were getting married without the whole big fiasco made me smile. Considering our mother's new found desire to control our love lives Emmett had made a statement by getting married without her approval of the venue or the decorations or the dress. Rosalie was equally as happy due to her big family and controlling mother as well.

I had met Tanya when I was in the park near my apartment in Boston where I was studying medicine at Harvard. She'd been cutting through because she was running a little late for a meeting with her father when I bumped into her. I was taking my daily run around the park and knocked into her. I apologised profusely and she just smiled shyly, gave me her phone number and told me to call her.

I hadn't done so for a few weeks before I came home to see my parents and brother. Unfortunately what I found was much more than what I was expecting.

Isabella Swan.

Bella Swan.

Bella.

Shit.

She was gorgeous. Flawless. Tanya was equally as gorgeous but there was something about the way Bella held herself that was even more attractive. She was shy yet confident. A mix I had yet to meet. Her wavy chestnut hair, the big brown doe eyes, and her lips, her top lip a little bigger than her bottom. They were kissable. And I decided thinking that wasn't going to be enough for me. Considering I hadn't been spoilt when I was younger and I hadn't always gotten what I wanted should have meant I wouldn't have thought this way. But when I saw her – or I should say when she fell into me – I just knew that I had to have her. I wanted her so badly it was driving me insane.

I was surprised I lasted until after dinner. I mean I made my feelings known as she poured me my wine but I was surprised I hadn't found her during the day and kissed her already or something worse. When she spoke in Italian to us I nearly had a heart attack. It was so sexy to hear the words roll off of her tongue and my heart wouldn't stop beating erratically.

I suppose that was no excuse to tease her in the kitchen before pulling her – against her will – into the pantry to make out with her and grope her. When she muttered she was engaged I nearly bust a vein in my forehead. Of course she was engaged. I mean, look at her. She was simply beautiful. I have to admit after that I wanted her even more. I wanted her to remember me always. What I hadn't been counting on was the fact I started to care about her.

When she told me about her father and mother I nearly cried with her. I had lost my grandmother, a very special person to me. The only one who really showed me any real affection. So I understood how she felt, but only a little bit. I didn't know the full extent of what she was going through. I was surprised when she let me go into her small loft apartment above the house. I remembered it being mother's when she liked to paint, I think anyway. I didn't mean to call her out on the fact she didn't wear an engagement ring, or tell her she didn't really love the guy she was engaged to. I didn't have a clue how she felt about him but I think my inner male kicked and decided the only way to solve this was to kiss her.

That didn't go well either. After she basically ripped my shirt off and I tore hers I knew it was going too far. Unfortunately I didn't have it in me to stop. Here was this sexy woman, kissing me like there was no tomorrow, lying on top of me, then beneath me, showing me she wanted me too. How was I supposed to stop?

That girl called Angela walked in though. Looking back, I'm glad she had. It would have ruined both of us to have done that.

The next few encounters were a blur. I remember us arguing and her slapping me but then I remember her harsh words about her not caring an inch for me, then her soft kisses as she apologised. I didn't understand why she felt the need to apologise. She wasn't supposed to care about me. I didn't know why her words hurt me so badly either. We hardly knew each other.

Her fiancé had every right to nearly kill me, which is why I egged him on, because he needed to know the truth and he needed to take out on someone. Me. I didn't want him to shout at Bella. She was so innocent yet so guilty but I couldn't stop myself from caring. I didn't want to hurt her; I didn't want him to hurt her. She was already hurt so much. She already carried so much on her shoulders. My stupid pursuant behaviour of her didn't need to be one of them.

I don't know if she's still with him. If he forgave her for my stupid male behaviour. I hope he had. She deserved to be with him if she still loved him and if he loved her. Deep down though, even though I now had Tanya I was a little jealous. Mainly because he had her and I didn't. Or because he had her and I never would.

Tanya walked into the room then, a cup of coffee in hand, smiling as she sat next to me on my couch. She snuggled up next to me and took a sip of her coffee.

"What is it?" She asked softly, looking concerned, "Are you having second thoughts about the engagement?"

I looked at her immediately, "No! Of course not! I want to marry you, believe me."

She didn't look convinced, "Then what's got you looking so worried?"

"My mother didn't react the way I thought she would about our engagement." I told her, leaning back against the couch, my arm slung over the back behind her.

"That bad huh?" She asked softly, looking a little sad.

I touched her cheek, "No, she was thrilled. Which was a shock, I thought she'd be miserable or have a fit that I told her over the phone or that she's never met you before." I explained as she continued to drink her coffee.

"She can meet me when we go and visit next week." She mused and searched for the remote for the TV, "It is next week right?"

I shook my head, "Week after."

She sighed, "Either way, I'll meet her. Right?"

I smiled at her and kissed her cheek as she turned the TV on and put on some documentary about some wildlife thing.

"Definitely."

"Tanya, do you want help with that?" I asked as I watched her struggle with her suitcase up the drive to my family's house.

She smiled, "I'm fine, honey, go on ahead. I'll catch up."

I shook my head at her and started walking again, "Are you sure?" I asked once more, just to be sure.

She smirked, "Honestly, go! I'll be right behind you."

I nodded my head and headed up the steps to where Kenneth the door man was waiting for me. I greeted him with a smile and asked him nicely if he'd go and help Tanya with her luggage. He smiled back and hopped outside to help Tanya. I saw my father waiting on the couch, reading a paper so I put my bags down quietly and tiptoed over.

"Whatcha readin'?" I asked over his shoulder, making him jump.

"Edward!" He exclaimed and turned around to see me. "It's good to have you home son!"

He walked round and hugged me, letting me know I was forgiven. I hugged him back before I let go to see my mother rushing towards me.

"Edward! Darling, I've missed you!" She grabbed me from my father and pulled me into a tight hug.

It was almost as if she'd treated me this way my entire life. Almost as if she'd given me this attention when I was younger. This much love. I pulled away and she kissed my cheek, holding me there so she could look at me.

"Your hair needs cutting." She stated.

"I like it like this." I told her a smile on my face at my mother.

She smiled, "As long as you're happy."

Suddenly I was tackled to the floor and being crushed by a heavy weight. I heard Emmett's big booming laugh and I wheezed under his weight.

"Jeez, Em, it's good to see you too." I choked out as he slowly clambered off of me and stood up, extending his hand for me to take.

He pulled me up with ease before pulling me into a hug, crushing me again. I patted his back awkwardly due to the fact my arms couldn't reach all the way around him. He chuckled and muttered,

"I've missed you, Ed. Don't stay away that long again, okay?" I didn't know if I'd heard him right because to hear Emmett saying something vaguely sentimental, excluding his wedding vows, was a rare thing indeed.

He pulled away and mother scolded Em for behaving 'inappropriately'. Well in her book anyway. I turned just as the door opened and Kenneth came in with Tanya's bags, Tanya right behind him. I smiled at her as she came through the door and she replied with her pretty smile. I stepped over to her and put my arm around her.

"Mom, Dad, Emmett, this," I said with a smile plastered to my face, "Is Tanya, my fiancée."

My mother looked like she was about to burst with pride and grabbed Tanya, bringing her into a tight hug, "Welcome to the family, Tanya."

**Uh oh! Guess who I decided would be another amazing pawn in my story? Tanya! Haha, I might makes this Tanya a little nicer than ones I've read and written about, if you've read HBOF then you'll know that I like to write about Tanya being a bitch.**

**Hope you liked it! More EPOV's later in the story. I can write so much in an EPOV and then I get stuck haha. **

**More Soon!**


	8. Chapter 8

**YO! I'm back. BPOV from now on, well just for a little bit anyway. No Jacob in this, just a stunned Bella, a confused Esme, an awkward Edward and a suspicious Tanya. I know what you're thinking. YES! No Jacob! But unfortunately he will be appearing in the next chapter.**

**Hope you enjoy. Love all of your reviews. Hope everybody that reads could review though. **

**Sorry it's late. xxxxxx**

Chapter 8

BPOV

My alarm went off, piercing the silence of the Saturday morning with the shrill ringing. I hit it hard and snuggled closer to my pillow, groaning in my sleep.

I didn't want to get up. I was dreading getting up and facing today. My brain had registered what today held and was deciding whether or not to shut down again for a few more hours. The side of the bed I was curled up on was toasty warm and I knew if I stretched to get up that I would feel the cold sheets on which I hadn't slept on. I didn't want to move from where I was. I was hugging my pillow like it was life saver and decided that ten more minutes wouldn't make a difference.

The bed was uncomfortable though. It wasn't the big cushy bed I shared with Jacob, instead it was the small hard one that resided in my old living space in the Cullen's house. I hadn't had any choice in where to stay to be honest, Jacob was redecorating the whole house for when we put it for sale – to get the apartment in the main city we'd found – and all of our furniture was in storage. Jacob was staying with his friend in the downtown area of the city and he was currently sleeping on that friend's couch so it was either move back here for a while or sleep on a floor.

I chose the comfier option.

Despite the fact I hadn't wanted to move from my toasty little haven I stretched across the bed and felt my bare legs hit the icy cold sheets. I flinched away from them and curled up again. I tried to sleep again but my mind was too active now, realising that now that I was half awake I'd have to go through with the excruciatingly painful task of being introduced to the fiancée of Edward Cullen.

We were all to line up in the lounge at noon to be introduced before lunch. I rolled over to check the clock and shot out of bed.

11:17am.

Crap! I rushed to make my bed and then quickly grabbed my brush, ragging it through my hair. Trying to tame the knots and frizz of my hair. I winced a few times as I tugged violently at it and felt my eyes water at one point but carried on until I felt nothing but my brush scraping my back. I flung myself into the tiny bathroom and washed myself vigorously.

I emerged ten minutes later, pulling on my tights and stumbling everywhere. I fell on my bed with a huff and struggled to pull up my thin black tights to my waist. Finally I managed and then rushed to get my ironed skirt out of my suitcase. I pulled it on so far and then reached for my white blouse, buttoning that up before tucking it into my skirt. I zipped up my skirt then and smoothed it down, looking for any visible creases.

My brains' decision to stay in bed a little loner was now the biggest mistake of my life. My job would be on the line if I was late to meet the newest member of the family who I was bound to serve until my contract ended next year. After that I could renew it for three years or two, or leave and head off to Italy with Jacob. This also depended on how much money we had by next year.

I ran my fingers through my wavy hair before grabbing a hair tie and slipping my shoes on. I checked the clock and cursed when it told me I had less than fifteen minutes. I rushed to the door and slid it open; turning to slide it shut with a thud. I tried to compose myself for a second and then turned for the stairs.

Green eyes.

"Bella."

I was speechless.

I'd been prepared to see him again in front of everyone, where I would be forced to put on a face which showed nothing more than what I was supposed to. But here, on my balcony, it was a dangerous notion. There was a line between us and one of us would cross it. I was sure. If not then that was all for the best.

"Edward." I said my voice a little breathless.

He smiled slightly, shyly. It was weird to see him that way, "It's been a while."

"Three months." Unnecessary information, Bella. You look like a stalker now, counting the days were you? _Idiot_.

"Wow, yeah. It has been three months, hasn't it?" He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

This was awkward. Three months since you had your tongue down my throat _would_ make this awkward though. Three months since we made out on my bed just behind me and you ripped my shirt. Or did I rip yours? I can't remember. _You're so pathetic, Bella._

The awkward silence was really annoying me, nagging at me to try to stop how excruciating this moment was. I didn't know where to put my hands so they just rested uncomfortably at my side. Suddenly Edward sighed loudly and he pushed his hands into his pocket,

"Are you still with . . .?" I knew it would get to this but I hadn't been prepared with an answer.

So I simply nodded. It was hard then to try to explain how I'd ended up with Jacob, or how we'd reconciled our relationship. These weren't words I was used to using in front of people. Things such as love and stuff like that. I could say them to Jacob but to tell someone else you loved someone was hard. You were constantly aware of how they could judge you for what you say.

I scratched my forehead and everything seemed to rush out, "I apologised to him and we kind of agreed to move past this, you know? Like move on? So we've postponed the wedding for another year and we'll see how things go." I took a deep breath and looked at him, anxiously, "So what's up?"

He looked a little stunned but he managed to compose his face slightly. Then, suddenly he seemed to blurt out, "I've missed you."

My heart skipped a beat and I struggled to get my words out, "E-Excuse me?"

He cursed and spun on his heel, ragging at his hair, "I shouldn't have said that. Shit!"

I decided that maybe it was time for me to go, so I started to walk past him, but he grabbed my arm as I did and spun me to face him. His green eyes smouldered into mine and I gulped a little louder than I expected.

"Bella, would it be really inappropriate if I told you, honestly now, that I've missed you?" His voice was soft, gentle, giving me the option to tell him no and leave it at that but I couldn't deny him anything. I'd been through this before.

"Yes, it would," I decided but then added, "But I don't mind hearing it."

A small smile hit his face and he whispered, "I've missed you, Bella."

"So how have you been?" He asked right after. Causing my head to whip back at how his sudden change in conversation was leaving me disorientated.

I managed to stutter out, "I'm fine. Busy with work. You?"

"Oh for the love of all things holy!"

I turned to look down the stairs where the voice had cried out and was met with Rosalie's deep blue eyes. She had an expression of incredulity of her face, her eyebrows raised in disbelief, her arms hung limply at her side while myself and Edward just stared at her in shock.

"Rose, it's really not what it looks like." Edward said, his tone serious.

She started to ascend the stairs, stomping up them. I gulped as I realised that I felt like a kid being caught with his hand in the cookie jar, even though he'd be told he could have one. I felt guilty but for what? I hadn't done anything bad, nothing remotely bad like last time.

Rosalie had made it up to us in a few steps and she frowned at Edward's hand around my wrist and at how close we were together.

"Really, Edward?" Sarcasm covered her tone, "Well what exactly is this then, other than you rekindling whatever mess you started three months ago."

I pulled away from Edward and actually came up with a good lie, "He came up to say hello and I went to walk down the stairs and tripped, he caught my arm before I could fall."

Rosalie looked at me and then Edward and then back again. She seemed to believe me because she nodded, still a little skeptic but she accepted it.

"Fine, but Edward you're fiancée is looking for you." Her eyes were cold as she stared at Edward.

Edward excused himself and descended the stairs. I went to do the same but Rose grabbed my arm,

"Don't lie to me next time." She said, her eyes soft.

I looked at her, crap, "I wasn't lying,"

She raised an eyebrow, "Okay, fine, just be careful. This time I have a feeling you'll all come out a little worse than last time."

I nodded, confused but accepted her comments anyway. I told her I was going to be late and headed downstairs. I made it into the lounge just as the others started to file in and I tagged on the end, trying to look as inconspicuous as I could be.

We lined up on the edge of the lounge and Mrs Cullen came in smiling more than usual and appraised our appearances.

"You all look wonderful, now smile when you're introduced I want my future daughter in law to feel at home." She smiled at us widely and then exited the room again.

Angela tugged on my sleeve and I turned to look at her.

"What?"

"Is it true you were with Cullen on your balcony this morning?" She asked a little harshly.

"Yes, he came to get some of Mrs Cullen's paint things because his fiancée likes to paint apparently or from what I guessed." I said, almost just as snappy.

"That's not what I heard." She replied.

I glared at her as she stared straight ahead, "I'd never do that to Jake, and you know it."

"You did the first time."

I kicked her shin and she fell to the floor clutching her leg, I feigned shock and knelt down beside her as the others gasped and stared at her, worried.

"Are you okay, Angela? Did your leg give way again?" I said, feigning worry, "You should really go to the doctors, but a good doctor, some don't tell the _truth_, you see?"

She glared at me but let me help her up. Bitch. How dare she accuse me of being unfaithful to Jake again, we were finally in a good place, I would never jeopardise that.

Mrs Cullen came in then, Mr Cullen and Edward behind her. Behind Edward was a stunning blonde. She was curvy and a little bigger on the chest than the hips. Her hair was a gorgeous blonde colour, almost honey coloured, and her eyes were like blue crystals. Shit, she was beautiful.

Mrs Cullen showed her into the room and turned her to face us. We were asked to say our names and our jobs, just like last time and we were expected to congratulate Edward as well. Everybody looked bored as they recited their name, job and a small congratulation. Angela didn't smile at Edward when she congratulated him on his engagement, she glared at him if I'm honest with you. It was my turn again and I took a breath to control myself from hitting Ange.

"Hello, my name's Bella and I'm the house maid and cook. And congratulations Edward." I hadn't realised my slip up until Mrs Cullen's face dropped in shock and I gritted my teeth together in annoyance.

I'd called him Edward. Not Mr Cullen like the rest of the staff but Edward. Emmett was standing by the doorway with Rose and had his hand on his face. Rose looked panicked, looking around frantically for some sort of excuse for my slip up. Angela smirked viciously at me and it took all the control I had not to pounce on her.

"Isabella!" Mrs Cullen raged, "You will address my son in the appropriate manner or we will be having conversations about your stay with us."

I nodded and looked to Edward who was standing next to his fiancée in front of me, "I'm sorry Mr Cullen. Congratulations."

He smiled, "Thank you, Bella."

Mrs Cullen looked at her son incredulously and so did his fiancée, she looked at me a little suspiciously as well, her eyes flickering between Edward and myself.

After that everybody was dismissed. Mr and Mrs Cullen invited everybody into the Bar and I hurried along after them, setting out the glasses for the champagne. I topped them all up perfectly and then went around the room handing them out to the Cullen's and Edward's fiancée. I still didn't know her name and was going to whisper to Emmet my question when it was answered for me.

Mrs Cullen's voice sounded out, clear and full of happiness for her son, "I would like to propose a toast . . . to my darling son, Edward and his beautiful fiancée, Tanya." She raised her glass, "To Edward and Tanya!"

Everybody joined in and toasted to them, taking sips of their champagne before grouping off into little conversations. Rosalie was chatting with Tanya and Emmett was talking to his mother and father. Edward wandered over to the bar to get a refill for his glass but I knew he had ulterior motives.

"Can I see you later on?" He whispered as I filled his glass.

I shook my head, "Not appropriate."

His eyes looked sad and I cringed internally, "Please? Just ten minutes, I won't try anything. Just meet me on your balcony in twenty minutes."

I nodded firmly, my head screaming at me for agreeing to such a stupid idea.

Twenty minutes later and Tanya and Mrs Cullen excused themselves and went to bed leaving the three people who knew of mine and Edward's previous encounters still present in the room. Tanya kissed Edward softly, sensually before leaving the room, making my stomach turn. She looked extremely slutty in her short skirt and tight top but I could hardly say anything, I'd lose my job in a heartbeat.

As soon as I was sure they would be in their rooms I exited the lounge and gave Edward a pointed look not to follow me for a while as to not to raise suspicion between the remaining party. I raced to the balcony and wrapped my arms around my body, trying to conserve some heat from the blistering cold which whipped around me in the breeze.

Five minutes later he appeared on the top of the steps.

"I just wanted to tell you I want to be friends. No more funny business just friendship." He told me bluntly, "You're such a kind hearted person from what I know of you already and you're quite funny as well and I'd like it if we could try to be friends, get to know each other? Is that okay?" He looked at me cautiously.

I nodded, "I'd like that. To be friends."

He smiled and quickly stepped over to me, his arms wrapping around my waist as her hugged me for a second before letting me go, "I'd better get back, before my bathroom trip drags on."

I nodded and smiled at him as he left, "I'll see you later Edward."

He turned and smiled, flashing me his most dazzling smile, "Yeah, see you later."

I clutched at my heart as he left, the pounding resounding in my heart an indication of how much he still affected me. And I'd just agreed to be friends with him. What was going on in my head?

Or for that matter, what was going on in his head?


	9. Author's Note

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

**So you're probably all expecting the worse now and believe me if you've been checking my profile I did decide earlier on in the year not to complete this fanfiction. But I have been looking over everything, from school work to current fanfictions and have decided that I _will be finishing_ this. I just need a break.**

**I have decided that A Song of Love vs Life will be finished but besides that it will undergo a bit of a makeover.** **I will be rewriting and completely revamping the whole story, keeping what I know you guys loved, taking away things which I think hinder the story and adding new things. I want a fresh start with this because I love the story. I have it all set out in my head but it's hard to get that out to you because of real life.**

**I never wanted to stop writing it and I won't, it will be finished and in a few months I will be back with revamped chapters ready to continue this ride and make it an awesome one at that.**

**Thank you for your support. You don't know how much it means to me.**

**Nic xxxx**


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